Grammie Whitehead

Happy Anniversary!

2010-07-27T10:11:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe it's been one year since that fateful day Mom received her new knees. In some ways it seems only yesterday that we rode to the hospital in the dark early morning hours, full of excitement that Mom would finally be free from the pain which had plagued her for years. I vividly remember walking through the halls of the hospital with Mom and Dad to the room where Mom was prepped for surgery, and giving Mom a hug as she snuggled under warm blankets while they wheeled her off to the operating room. Dad and I spent the next couple hours just hanging out together in Mom's room, anticipating better days ahead for her. We welcomed the doctor's visit after the surgery explaining that everything had gone well. I called everyone to let them know the good news and that Mom would be back in the room within an hour or two.

Little did we know.

This past week as I contemplated the events that transpired that day and the tragedy that unfolded before our eyes, I couldn't help but shed some tears at those terrifying memories. However, my sadness was soon washed away by a flood of memories of the countless miracles we were privileged to witness over the next few months, and I was once again keenly aware of Heavenly Father's tender care throughout this ordeal.

Our family knows in a very personal way that miracles aren't always granted in the way we desire, but we also have deep and abiding testimonies that no matter what we are called to pass through, we will be sustained every step of the way. In a few short weeks, August 19th will arrive, marking 10 years since Lynn passed away from cancer. Although we petitioned Heavenly Father fervently for her to be healed, we each have a firm testimony that He is in charge, and have been granted that peace which surpasseth all understanding. Therefore, despite the uncertainty of Mom's situation we were comforted by our knowledge that somehow all would be well. Just as with Lynn, we again witnessed countless miracles. This blog is a testament to His hand in our lives.

Last Saturday we gathered together as a family to celebrate Matthew's baptism, and Mom was asked to give the opening prayer. It was unbelieveable to contemplate where she has come from and where she is now. On Sunday we had a family party and Mom was taking pictures, just like she always did. Despite the fact that she has the world's slowest camera (some things never change!) we were all happy to smile and were thankful to have our Mom and Grammie back. I couldn't help but picture her lying in Intensive Care, hooked up to countless machines, blind and in a coma. What a contrast to the sweet, feisty, vibrant woman we have now!

It's a good thing Mom has a bit of feistiness in her because it has been a long road. Back in the earliest days, only one doctor gave us any real hope. After we had received countless conflicting medical opinions, one of the ICU neurospecialists, Dr. Roller, ventured to say that although he didn't have a crystal ball, it was his opinion that in a year we would be pleasantly surprised to see the progress Mom would make. We clung to his words despite the grim situation, and are thrilled to report that his prediction has come to pass beyond our wildest dreams.

Mom was a dedicated therapy patient, traveling to downtown SLC twice a week for physical, occupational and speech therapy. Dad was a trooper, driving her there and patiently sitting through three hours of therapy with her each day. In May she finally graduated from all three therapies, having made dear friends with her therapists along the way!

Her biggest worry right now is her eye, which became infected in the hospital. After a few months of constant drops and medications, the angry redness finally subsided. However, because of the severity of the infection, the eye has been permanently damaged and will most likely require a cornea transplant. Unfortunately last month the infection returned, which will postpone the transplant for another 6 months or so. It seems that sunlight exacerbates the condition and in June she spent a few days out in the yard, determined to get the flowerbeds weeded. Not only did her eye regress from the intense sunlight, but she also injured her back and found herself in physical therapy again. Thankfully she is mostly recovered from that and hopefully will let us help out with the weeding a bit more in the future!!!

But for the most part, things are wonderful. Mom wishes she could drive, but is enjoying her newfound freedom from pain. She can do stairs like a champ and her knee surgeon said Mom has more range of motion than many of his "regular" patients! She finished a life history for Jim Jr. and is working on one for Randy. She also made a baby quilt for her two newest great-grandsons. The computer is another of Mom's hobbies and she diligently relearned how to use it. And of course she is working on her photos. In short, we have our Mom back!

How grateful we are for the many tender mercies we have been shown by countless loved ones, friends, and the medical community over this past year. We are overcome with gratitude for the love and kindness shown to us and humbly give thanks for all the blessings we have received. Thank you once again for all your faith and prayers. How blessed we are to have such wonderful friends and family.

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T22:46:00.001-08:00

When I asked Mom what she would like me to say on the blog today, her eyes lit up and she said to be sure and thank everyone for all they have done for her. Although she cannot remember the first weeks and months of her ordeal, she is keenly aware that she has been served and blessed in so many ways and she is overwhelmed to think of all the kindnesses shown to her and our family. Over the years Mom has written hundreds (probably thousands) of thank you notes and it is frustrating for her to be unable to express her gratitude in that way. Although this is more impersonal than she would like, please know how much your thoughts, prayers and numerous acts of kindness are appreciated!

How special it was to celebrate Christmas Eve in the usual way, gathering for dinner at Mom and Dad's house, reading the Christmas story and opening gifts. Shopping for everyone was too overwhelming to consider, so we convinced Mom to be satisfied giving gift cards this year. She spent many hours making lists and figuring out how many gift cards she needed to purchase, then putting them in envelopes and writing names on the outside. Simple tasks we take for granted must be relearned, and Mom was determined to figure it all out! Way to go, Mom!

Mom continues to improve day by day, and although she still has a ways to go, she has come so very far. Yesterday she visited the cornea specialist who was thrilled with the improvement in her eye. The severe redness is subsiding and the vision is clearing. Best of all, the area of scar tissue is smaller than first suspected and a transplant may not be necessary. Although the final verdict won't be known for a few months, once again we acknowledge the Lord's hand in this process.

Looking back over 2009 we are humbled at the many blessings we have received. Despite the trials we have faced we have seen the Lord's hand each step of the way. Our testimonies have grown and our love for each other has been strengthened and deepened. Lynn told me once that despite all her trials with cancer she wouldn't trade what she had learned for anything. I think we can understand her feelings a bit more after traveling this road over the past several months.

We sincerely wish each of you a wonderful new year! Happy 2010!!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2009-12-13T18:25:00.000-08:00

It's December already and Christmas is almost here. Four months ago we never could have envisioned the progress Mom has made and we are so grateful for all the miracles we have received. Mom goes to speech, occupational and physical therapy twice a week for three hours each time. The therapists encourage Mom to do as much as possible around the house. Her right side is still quite a bit weaker than the left, so she is supposed to wear an oven mitt on her left hand during the day so her right hand will do most of the work. But she is able to cook simple meals, and do the dishes as well as the laundry. Her handwriting is coming along, although it is quite a chore. She is also working on the computer more and trying to create cards like she used to enjoy doing. Each card takes several hours to create, but Mom is determined!!! Although she gets around quite well, she trips easily and, in fact, fell twice this week. Slow down, sweet mother, and remember, "No more mothers jumping on the bed!"

Medically things are going well except for her right eye. Despite intense care from her ophthalmologist, the infection is not quite gone, so he sent Mom to a cornea specialist. The sobering news is that Mom will need a cornea transplant because the infection was not treated adequately in the hospital, which allowed for extensive scar tissue formation. Mom is praying for another miracle, but feels as if the Lord has already granted so many in her behalf that she shouldn't ask for more. However, we know He is very aware of our dear mother, so we are joining our faith with hers in requesting His help once again. We humbly ask for your faith and prayers as well.

We are so grateful to be celebrating this special Christmas season with Mom. We wish each of you a joyous holiday!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-29T18:59:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving together. We ate at Mom and Dad's house, but everyone helped out so Mom and Dad could just relax and enjoy the time together with family. Mom received a cute little treat from a neighbor called Blessing Mix, which contains different snack items such as m&m's, bugles, pretzels, etc. She enjoyed it so much that she wanted to make one for each family member. She and Dad spent quite a lot of time shopping for all the ingredients and then Mom carefully assembled a bag of goodies for each child, grandchild, and great-grandchild.

After dinner we had a special Thanksgiving program. Everyone gathered in the living room to watch a beautiful DVD put together by Jim Jr, set to the song, "The Climb," by Miley Cyrus. He included a few photos from the early days after the stroke, and then focused the rest on all the progress Mom has made. It was sobering to see where Mom started, and exhilarating to see the miracle of her recovery unfold before our eyes. After watching the DVD, everyone was invited to share their thoughts and feelings about the ordeal. Our focus was on the many miracles showered down upon us by the Lord, who opened countless doors so Mom could get the help she needed to recover. Mom then expressed her gratitude for everyone's love and support and we ended the program with yummy desserts. It was a wonderful evening.

This week brought several more miracles as well. On Monday Mom went to the hearing specialist where they discovered that her hearing loss was just a wax buildup, so now she can hear again!!! Her eyesight is getting better as well, and she continues to regain more and more fine motor function through diligent practice and her wonderful therapists.

As we begin this holiday season, we continue to be full of gratitude to have Mom with us, and in awe of all the progress she has made and continues to make. We are also thankful for each of you for the love and support shown us through this long process. Most of all we are grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who has been with us every step of the way!

November updates

2009-11-19T21:06:00.001-08:00

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated the blog. (Can you spell SWINE FLU? I can!)

Mom has made absolutely amazing progress these past few weeks. She has been trying to cook more, and after one LONG afternoon in the kitchen that left her exhausted and still hungry, she has since had better luck. Mom has made her yummy macaroni and cheese along with her fabulous spaghetti, and although it takes a lot out of her, she wants to do the things she used to do.

To her delight, she finally figured out how to get down in the tub so she can take a bath as opposed to a shower. (Who ever knew it was so far DOWN from a standing position, not to mention equally as far back UP when you're finished?) She also washes her own hair and is maneuvering the blow dryer as well.

Mom continues to faithfully do her exercises and practice writing her name. In addition, she has begun using her computer again, typing with both hands! It is very, very slow and painstaking, but she is equally as determined. Early on, Mom couldn't remember where all the keys were on the keyboard, and several of them were worn off which made it extra hard to type. Undaunted, Mom carefully went downstairs and found her old typing textbook from high school (she knew right where it was!) and brought it up to the computer room so she could find the right keys. Thankfully, Randy had an extra keyboard, so now Mom can actually see the keys she is trying to use. Since handwriting is still a challenge, Mom is determined to use the computer to keep up with her correspondence. One of the things she feels the worst about these past few months is that she hasn't been able to write Jace his weekly missionary letter. She is determined to remedy that situation!

Mom's eye is finally getting a bit better. Her eye doctor admitted today that when he first saw her 3 weeks ago, he wasn't sure her eyesight would return because of the severity of the infection. Although it will take another two or three months, he is quite confident her vision will return. Whew!

We are also thrilled to report that the PEG line has been removed. HURRAH!!! It was a simple process done in the office, and other than a bit of discomfort at the time of removal, there was no pain involved. That's good, because all the pain at the time of insertion should have counted for alot!

New this week is the discovery that Mom has lost much of the hearing in her right ear. This wouldn't be unusual as a result of the stroke, so she has an appointment on Monday with a specialist to check things out more thoroughly.

This week Mom's sister, Louise, has been up from California to visit and help out. It has been so fun for them to spend time together laughing and reminiscing, and the week has gone by all too fast. As Mary Engelbreit says, "There is no friend like a sister in calm or stormy weather!" Mom is extra blessed in the sister department on both sides of the family!

As Thanksgiving approaches, we are especially grateful to have our dear Mother home again, and are in awe of the progress she has made. We are also grateful for each of you who have cried and rejoiced along with us these past four months. We couldn't have done it alone!

A Fast of Gratitude

2009-11-01T23:47:00.001-08:00

Today has been a sweet day of fasting in gratitude for the miraculous events that have occurred over the past three months. We are in awe of the progress Mom has made. We know that Heavenly Father has been there for us through all the ups and downs, and has caused many miracles to occur. The highlight of the day was that Mom bore her testimony in Sacrament Meeting. Although I wasn't there, I heard from several people that it was beautiful. I would imagine it was kind of like hearing from Lazarus!

This week Mom has continued to improve and can now do many things on her own. The various therapists have assigned "homework" and Mom is faithfully working at her assignments. She is supposed to do everything possible for herself, such as washing her own hair, doing the dishes, unloading the dishwasher and keeping track of her appointments on a calendar. She can eat well with her right hand and even helps with simple cooking tasks. Yesterday Mom and I went shopping for some new bed sheets and she walked around the entire store without even leaning on the shopping cart!!! She is diligently practicing writing her name and even signed the check when we went shopping. Although progress seems slow to her, cumulatively is is astounding, and she has come so far from where she was two weeks ago when she first came home!

Mom's right eye continues to slowly improve. This week the doctor removed the medicated patch and instructed Dad to put several different (EXPENSIVE!) eye drops in three times per day. He explained that Mom's eye is numb because of the stroke, which is actually a blessing at this point, as her condition would be excruciating to a normal eye. However, he still expects that the eye will recover and that Mom's vision will return.

We would like to sincerely thank each of you for your interest, prayers, fasting and kind acts too numerous to mention. Mom has been so eager to hear her story and thank each person who has helped her in any way. She wants to write thank you notes (now that's definitely our Mom!), so we're slowly and painstakingly working on letter writing! In the meantime, please know of our love and appreciation for all you have done for our family! We are so grateful!

Leaps and bounds!

2009-10-24T22:14:00.001-07:00

Mom continues to improve this week. She went to the grocery store with Dad on Thursday and didn't need a wheelchair or even one of those riding carts. She just walked through the store with him! She's doing extremely well getting around the house and can even get up and down off the floor by herself. When you talk to her on the phone it sounds as if she's back to normal.

However, some basic skills still need relearning, and at times she's a bit of a danger to herself because she's in a familiar environment and wants to do all the things she's used to doing. For instance, she decided she wanted a toast, so she put a piece of bread in the microwave and turned it on for a very long time. Dad didn't realize what she had done until smoke started pouring out of the kitchen! She also decided she wanted to change the sheets on the bed, (despite the fact that Dad just did it on Thursday) so she took them all off and stuffed EVERYTHING in the washing machine at once - mattress pad, sheets AND blanket!!! Needless to say, they didn't quite fit and it took awhile to get everything laundered and back in place so they could go to bed!

But she is definitely improving in so many ways. I've been out of town since Wednesday and could hardly believe how well she did tonight at dinner using her RIGHT hand! And she is trying to work on her photos (although in a few weeks from now she will probably be frustrated with her current efforts!) She is also practicing how to write her name and is making pretty good progress. Dad writes her name in cursive at the top of the paper, and then she practices writing it below his example. In addition, she is lifting her weights several times each day in an effort to strengthen her arms. The best part of all is that she can laugh when things don't go well, instead of getting upset.

Medically she is improving as well. We are hoping to have the PEG line removed in the near future and are so glad she hasn't really needed it. Although her appetite is still not very great, she eats small portions at every meal and food hasn't been a struggle since we've gotten home.

The one big concern is Mom's right eye which has been infected on and off since the end of August. She has been on eye drops all this time, and her eye would seem to get better for a few days and then get red again. We just thought it was because she kept rubbing her eye and reinfecting it. However, Dad got her in to their ophthalmologist on Thursday, who said the drops actually caused a dangerous situation within her eye to where she currently has almost no vision at all on the right side. He put a special medicated contact in that eye, prescribed two different kinds of eyedrops, and wants to see her every 3 days. He feels everything will be fine, but is frustrated at the treatment she received. We are just grateful he knows what to do!!!

This week will be full of doctor appointments. Outpatient physical therapy begins on Wednesday, and will probably be three times a week, for three hours each time. In addition, there will be eye appointments as well as a visit with her regular internist who will be taking over Mom's care from all the inpatient physicians. Dad's becoming quite the scheduling genius, as well as a full time chauffeur!

The hospital has also agreed to provide ten more days of transitional care, where they pay for someone to come in and help out in any way needed for three hours each day. They will be coming in the afternoons, which will give Dad a bit of a break so he can run errands or work out in his shop for a bit, which will be so nice for him.

Thanks for keeping us in your prayers. Although this is a bit tricky at times, Mom is progressing in leaps and bounds now that she is home. It's wonderful to have her back!

"Grammie's out of the woods!"

2009-10-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

What a fun evening! Mom came over to my house to eat cake and ice cream for Alan's birthday celebration. She hasn't been here since the 24th of July, so it seemed like old times. She was talking to Heidi on the phone and when Heidi asked how she was doing, Mom replied, "I think Grammie's out of the woods!" It was pretty cute.

Each day Mom is getting more and more aware, and trying to figure out new things. Today she and Dad went for a walk around the culdesac together. She also looked through her pictures for a bit this morning, so she's slowly getting back into the swing of things.

Now that Mom's home and things are going well, I've been toying with the idea of just updating the blog every few days. It's a hard thing to give up after 88 days of daily posts, as I consider you all dear friends who have sustained us with your faith and testimony throughout the ups and downs of our beautiful Mother's recovery. Thanks for joining our family on this journey, and watch for a new entry in a few days! I promise to keep you posted!

Twelve weeks!

2009-10-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

It seems like forever ago that we walked into the hospital at 5:30 a.m., with the sky still dark, and Mom excited about finally getting new knees. I can still picture her walking down the hall to her room in her cute light blue jeans and matching sparkly shirt, and I can still remember saying goodbye to her as they wheeled her away, all snuggled under a warm blanket. Bit by bit and day by day, she's making progress towards where she used to be.

Today Mom worked at holding a fork and getting food to her mouth, and wanted to do it without help. Dad is so cute to help her just enough so she is successful. She is actually eating more than she did in the hospital, and the PEG line is not really necessary. Her sweet personality shines through, and also her independent streak! And there is no reasoning with her when she has her mind made up about something. But that just shows that she is making great improvements, so we'll take it. She is doing amazingly well getting up from a sitting position, and since she gets up every few minutes to move to a different seat or walk to a different room, she's getting lots and lots of practice! She is also getting more steady walking around, so we don't feel as if we need to hover near as much as we did on Saturday - for which I'm sure she's grateful!

Mom also enjoyed looking through some of her photos which were taken in the early summer. She had them all packed up to work on during her supposed 3 day stay after surgery. I guess 84 days later is a bit of a stretch, but it's exciting to see her doing something she loved to do before.

We're still trying to figure out options to give Dad a bit of a break, but he is hanging in there. He deserves the Nobel peace prize for all his efforts, and I learn so much just watching him. Way to go, Dad!!!

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand!

2009-10-18T22:57:00.000-07:00

Today Mom was able to make it to Sacrament Meeting. When we drove up to the Church, she didn't want to park in the handicapped stalls even though we had a permit. Mom enjoyed being at Church again, and seeing her dear neighbors and friends who have been so kind and thoughtful and helpful! She commented on the way home about how special her ward is. We couldn't agree more!!!

We have seen much improvement in Mom just since yesterday. She is alot more stable walking around the house, and we don't worry quite as much about her getting up and down. Good thing too, since she doesn't sit in one place for long! When Jim Jr. came to visit he remarked that she is probably getting more therapy at home than she ever would in the hospital! She is working very hard to be independent, and even tried to do the dishes tonight. At dinner she laboriously tried to eat with her right hand, which is quite a bit weaker than her left. She said she needs to learn how to do things, so she didn't want any help. It is frustrating to her, but she is definitely trying.

Although she is improving, it remains a full time job for Dad to keep up with everything. We need to find some way for him to have a break for a bit each day, since this is non stop. As I said yesterday, Mom can do a LOT of things, but some steps are just plain missing, and she needs constant supervision. Although we are thrilled beyond measure to have her home and can see daily improvement, this will be a long process.

Despite the enormity of the task, we know things will work out. Today as I sat in Sacrament Meeting I was very touched by the words to a familiar hymn - How Firm a Foundation. I've sung it hundreds of times throughout my life, but it has never had more meaning than today:

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

He has truly strengthened and helped Mom, and caused her to stand. We know He will continue to be at her side.

HOME SWEET HOME!!!

2009-10-17T22:16:00.000-07:00

SHE'S HOME!!! Just like we have been hoping and praying and fasting for, Mom walked out of the hospital today, completely on her own!!! It was so exciting and amazing and wonderful! After 82 days in the hospital, it was time for a change of scenery, and what better place to go than HOME!!!

We all arrived at the hospital at 9:00 a.m., and Mom was dressed and ready to go. The therapy staff had one more physical therapy session scheduled at 9:30, so they had Mom help load all her personal belongings on a cart, as a sort of "real life" practice. We would never have thought to have her do any of that, but the physical therapist wanted Mom to realize that she could do most anything she wants to do. (She needn't have worried because Mom pretty much ran circles around us the rest of the day!)

Then the nurse went over the discharge papers, and Mom signed them herself! (It didn't look anything like her previous signature, but hey, it's a new life!!!) Then we posed for pictures in Mom's room and walked out! It was just that simple!

When we pulled up at Mom and Dad's house, it was decorated with two banners - one from the ward welcoming Sister Whitehead home, and another from us kids. The banners brought even more smiles to our faces, if that were possible! We helped Mom into the house and she collapsed on the couch -- but only for a minute. After that she wanted to see things, and even went for a walk around the backyard. I think she felt a bit like Rip Van Winkle - when she left in July, her garden was in full bloom, and today it's the middle of October and everything is harvested.

We had a flurry of things to do - adding more safety rails in the shower and getting a slew of prescriptions filled, but Mom was right in the thick of things. She decided she wanted a BLT sandwich and then visited with the neighbors. Then it was time for a nap.

The rest of the afternoon and evening have been quite the whirlwind. Dad and I aren't sure we can keep up with Mom. She didn't sit still for more than a couple of minutes at at time, and we exhausted ourselves trying to keep her safe, so much so that she commented on the phone to one of her granddaughters that she was being corralled on the farm!

Realistically, this will be a full-time operation to keep track of Mom. She can do so much, but still can't quite remember all the steps for many basic tasks. We are mostly worried about her falling, but have had to realize that despite our best efforts, there is no possible way to watch her every second. Hopefully she will sleep soundly so Dad can get some rest as well.

As we look back on this three month journey, we are in awe of the overwhelming love and concern we have been shown. The yard has been mowed and the garden tended. Visitors have come to buoy us up and we have received many sweet cards and emails. But it hasn't stopped there. Mom and Dad's next door neighbor built a beautiful railing for the stairs in the garage, and several people have offered to build one for the front porch. People are literally waiting in the wings to do whatever needs to be done. We are humbled and grateful for such an outpouring of kindness. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and faith and fasting. The Lord has heard your prayers and blessed us beyond measure. We can never repay your generosity and Christ-like love.

Jim Jr Comments. I went over to IMC and had breakfast with mom 1 last time this morning. I bought scrambled eggs w/cheese, sausage & bacon with hashbrowns and we ate somewhat similar breakfasts! (The food is actually very good here, and is made out of the same kitchen that visitors frequent. After all this time, we haven't tired of eating here --- I am speaking for myself, of course!)

Then Mom was ready to go. Dad, Diane and Randy showed up shortly thereafter, we said goodbyes, mom signed her discharge papers and we were on our way. We spent the rest of the afternoon putting up the rest of the fancy shower heads and safety grab bars, and thoroughly enjoying mom back at home. She was up and down and all over, but soon wore out from all the excitement! What an incredible last 12 weeks! We are so grateful for all your attentiveness, prayers and support. Isn't that what friends and family are all about? ....

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go!

2009-10-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

Today was Mom's last full day at the hospital. Therapists, nurses and other staff members came to tell Mom goodbye, as many of them won't be working tomorrow. This is one of the sweetest parts of their job -- seeing someone get well enough to go back to their life! Mom is grateful for each one of them and comments often how kind everyone has been to her. She truly appreciates everything that every single person has done to help her progress.

Last night Mom was anxious about getting her things packed up. It's amazing how much stuff you can accumulate in a little hospital room! Today we brought a couple boxes and got everything emptied out, leaving only the bare essentials necessary to make it until the morning. She was very concerned that we not forget anything and supervised the entire process. Then she took a nap!

For lunch Mom had one of her favorite meals ever -- an avocado toast! I brought some yummy bread, which we toasted super crisp, (she actually likes it black on the edges!!!) buttered generously, and added sliced avocados on top. We sprinkled lemon juice over the avocados and added salt and pepper. She ate the entire thing! That had to have added some serious calories to her day, but it was actually quite nutritious. I think once she gets home and can eat what she's used to eating, it will make a big difference.

Well, as little kids often say when counting down to an exciting event: ONLY ONE MORE WAKE-UP! All we have to do is go to sleep and the next thing we know it will be time to pick her up! Who says miracles cease to exist?!

T minus 2

2009-10-15T20:43:00.000-07:00

The countdown continues and things are still looking incredibly great. Today I had to drop my car off at a shop just down the road from the hospital, so Dad said he would pick me up. Imagine my surprise when Mom came along for the ride!!! When they pulled up, it looked so natural to see Mom sitting in the front seat of their cute white car. In the days after Mom's surgery, I often rode back and forth to the hospital with Dad, and I always sat in Mom's place. It almost felt sacred to be sitting in her seat, and I used to wonder if she would ever sit there again. And now, here we are! (I never knew it could feel so good to ride in the back seat!)

Randy came along for the ride as well, and after picking me up, we all continued on to his house so Mom could see the new carpet they had installed a couple weeks ago. Mom was able to go down all the stairs into the basement, and then back up again. Jim and Ruth stopped over for the excitement, and it was great fun to all be together again at a place other than the hospital!

Earlier in the day I talked to Mom on the phone and she told me we needed to start packing up all the things from her hospital room to take home. It was so natural to be talking with her that way and planning all the things we need to do. She talks and acts just like she always has, and it is thrilling.

Things are falling into place for the big day. Everyone is so happy for us and we have received such generous offers to help. We're still trying to figure out exactly what we need, but it is heartwarming to know that people care so much. We know it won't be easy, but we're excited to have made it this far. Thank you again for everything.

MOM'S GOING HOME!!!

2009-10-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

SURPRISE!!!

HAPPY DAY!!!

INCREDIBLE NEWS!!!

MOM'S GOING HOME ON SATURDAY!!!

We can hardly believe it, but Mom has progressed so quickly these past few days that she is about to achieve the goal which has been posted in her room for weeks: Walk out of the hospital and GO HOME!!! It will be thrilling to see her fulfill the miracle that so many people all over the world have been fasting and praying for. (Don't worry, we'll take video!) You all are part of this miracle and we owe so much to you for your love and support in our behalf. We can never thank you enough.

Just a few short days ago, although Mom was making great progress, we still felt that going home was several weeks away. However, since discontinuing several meds last week, Mom has progressed in leaps and bounds. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you don't feel sick! Despite what happens or doesn't happen with the insurance appeal, Mom has come so far that there is nowhere to go but home. The therapists feel she is ready and doesn't need further inpatient therapy. She will continue to receive outpatient therapy up at LDS hospital, but starting Saturday, she will be living at HOME! Dad is going to shoulder the greatest load, but since Mom can do so many more things on her own, the task doesn't seem quite so overwhelming.

We have a list of things that need to be done at home before Saturday morning, but most of them aren't too difficult. Dad, Randy and I went shopping and got some handrails, a shower chair, and a handheld shower for the bathrooms. We also need to remove all throw rugs from the house and anything else that is a potential tripping hazard. In the near future we need to install a hand rail on the steps from the garage into the house, but for now we can just help her maneuver them with our support. THIS IS EXCITING!!!

Today Mom ate most of her breakfast, which was a miracle in and of itself! She ate a few bites of lunch and dinner, but we're not complaining. Since Mom and Dad's house is literally 5 minutes away from my school, I'm planning on going straight there after school and making dinner with Mom's own recipes. Hopefully that will get her eating again. It will give Dad a break for a bit too, so that should work out well.

This is more exciting than Christmas!!! We have our Mother back!!! Wahoo!!! I jokingly commented this afternoon that had we known at the beginning that Mom would be able to go home in 11 weeks and 5 days, it would have made things a whole lot easier. Isn't that the way it is with any trial? Alas, the Lord wants us to exercise faith and look to Him. We humbly acknowledge His hand in this unbelievable miracle. Thank you for traveling this journey with us.

My life in pictures

2009-10-13T22:42:00.001-07:00

Tonight we three kids enjoyed a delightful time with Mom showing her pictures and video of the past 78 days of her life. (Actually, I'm sure all four kids were there -- Lynn wouldn't have missed this for anything!) Thanks to Jim Jr.'s love of photojournalism and his dedication to documenting Mom's progress, on the spur of the moment he was able to hook up his camera to the TV in Mom's room so we could witness together the journey she has travelled these past 3 months. It was humbling to relive the miracles that have been bestowed on our family and finally be able to share them with Mom. She was so coherent and marveled at how far she has come. In addition, she was able to provide some enlightening commentary from her point of view, which was fascinating. It was difficult to watch the situation unfold in the early weeks, and then equally thrilling to see her exponential progress these past two weeks. We are in awe of the way the Lord has blessed our Mother and each one of us. We have not walked this path alone.

Mom had a great day in therapy. She accompanied the therapists downstairs to the cafeteria on the first floor, without her wheelchair -- walking completely on her own, taking the elevator and all! Ruth, Alycia, Parker and Breck met Mom downstairs and she had a fun time visiting with them.

Although she went down to the cafeteria, Mom didn't want anything to eat. However, tonight we were able to discuss the reasons why food is so unappealing to her, and ask what would make the situation better. She gave us some suggestions as to things she would enjoy eating, but made it clear that food has never been something she cared too much about. (Goodness, I certainly didn't inherit that trait!!!) We are going to bring some items from home that she requested, and see if that helps.

Mobility wise, Mom is getting more steady by the day. Other skills are coming back as well. This afternoon she practiced writing her name, and tonight she stood at the sink in the bathroom and brushed her own teeth. Things are really clicking and it is so exciting to watch our Mother come back!

Thanks for all your love and prayers and support. Still no word about the appeal. Keep us in your prayers!

Jim Jr's comments. This morning, mom was alert as she has ever been. Speech therapy was right on task. Before physical therapy, after eating acceptably (she's not a huge breakfast person, but that's what arrives on her plate every morming) -- mom had to go the bathroom. She stood straight up, walked right to the bathroom, sat down, did her thing, got up, dressed herself, walked over to the sink, washed her hands and dried them and walked back into the room just like nothing! This is absolutely incredible!

She fussed with her shoe laces a bit. The physical therapist walked in, and she stood straight up for Alex. He just about lost it, because he hasn't been around for a few days. When we told him she had walked up and down a whole flight of stairs he couldn't believe it. Well, she started walking out of the room and right down the hall to the gym (some 220+ feet) without any complaint. She even walked fast for part of it! Alex checked out her knees and motion in walking and shook his head in disbelief that this could even be the same person he saw late last week (who was struggling to even get up off the bed or out of the chair).

This evening, though, mom didn't eat but a morsel or two at best -- and, as Diane mentioned, during our discussion about her lack of appetite (with we 3+1 kids), I gave her a bowl of grapes and Lays potato chips, which she promptly devoured and munched down before our very eyes! We ate a Big Cherry just before leaving and all had a good laugh. A most incredible day! Astounding! Amazing!

Mom, your goal of walking out of the hospital and going home will be realized sooner than you think!

A whole new world! Happy Columbus Day!

2009-10-12T21:45:00.001-07:00

Mom is still doing great today! For therapy, she walked up and down an entire flight of real stairs - from the 12th floor to the 11th floor and back up again. She did super! Also today, she used a fork to eat some salad, completely on her own. She did it left-handed, as that hand is more advanced than her right one, so perhaps she'll be ambidextrous when this is all over. She only ate a couple bites of salad, but the skill was definitely there.

As far as eating is concerned, it is still not on Mom's tops list, although her stomach is feeling better. The vitamins and/or acid-reducers must have been the culprits, since she is not in discomfort since discontinuing them. Dad got some training today in how to use the PEG line to supplement Mom's calories, so he knows how to do it, but hopefully her eating will pick up soon so he doesn't have to. We've tried every tempting food we can think of, to no avail. It doesn't do ANY good to push, so we just let her take the lead.

Still no decision from the insurance appeal. Jim Jr. found out today that the package he had overnighted to New York was actually delivered and signed for on Saturday morning as promised, but never taken upstairs to the appeals committee. Jim Jr. talked to them today and they are supposedly going to look everything over before making their decision. I just wish they could see the videos from yesterday. If a picture's worth a thousand words, those videos speak volumes!

The hospital instituted some new visiting rules because of the H1N1 influenza. Beginning today only two visitors are allowed at any one time in a patient's room, with visiting hours ending at 8 p.m. That doesn't really put a crimp in our style too much, because we can just go out onto the couches at the end of the hall if we have more than 2 visitors, or some of us can go get a bite to eat in the cafeteria downstairs. Kind of sobering to think about, however.

Anyhow, Mom's making fabulous progress. Thanks for the fasting and prayers!

No more mothers getting out of bed!

2009-10-11T20:38:00.000-07:00

Here are some amazing videos of Mom today. The first one is my absolute favorite and will bring tears to your eyes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOcxKMPC26o

The second one is pretty cute and shows that Mom still has muscles despite the fact that she's basically been in bed for 11 weeks tomorrow! It will make you smile!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Nqx8cTCJo

As you can see from the videos, Mom's progress is absolutely breathtaking! Today for the first time, she got out of bed completely by herself, stood up, and walked out into the hall to sit on the couches and visit. Later when some of us were going home, she insisted on getting out of bed again and hugging each person who was leaving. It was vintage Mom, as she always accompanies you outside when you are leaving her home, and waves in the driveway until you are gone. Other than the hug she gave me personally, the one I really enjoyed was her hugging Dad! Pretty sweet!

Yesterday, Mom started laying on the couch in her room for a change of pace from the bed. She has always enjoyed taking a little cat nap on the couch at home, so it's fun to see her doing something familiar.

She also said her stomach is feeling much better, but alas, is still not eating more than a few bites each meal. At least she doesn't feel sick, so perhaps the eating will come. Alan brought her a Sees chocolate and she did eat that, but when he asked what kind she would like tomorrow, she didn't want another!

I was able to visit with her one on one for a few minutes tonight, and told her my theory that it might be hard for her to recognize how much progress she is making since she doesn't have the perspective of remembering how far she has come. She told me she does realize she is making progress and actually seemed quite upbeat. It was so reassuring to hear her express herself like my Mother!

Now that she's so mobile, it will be a real challenge to keep her from getting up on her own at night. She assured us that she doesn't want to fall and that she will call the nurse if she needs to get up. We teased her about the poem Five little monkeys, jumping on the bed, and reminded her that one fell out and broke his head. We certainly don't want that to happen! Sleep tight tonight, Mom, and remember, No more mothers getting out of bed!!!

Soccer Mom

2009-10-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty good day physically for Mom. After walking all the way down the hall, she went up and down the steep steps in the therapy room. Then on the way back to her room, she kicked a ball down the hall, soccer style! Who knew we had a soccer Mom?

She also said her stomach felt better today, and she ate a bit more food than usual, although not nearly as much as we would have hoped. (However, anything is better than last night's half a roll.) Actually today at lunch she ate an entire roll with butter along with some baby tomatoes and cucumbers. She also had some popcorn this evening, so we're making a bit of progress. We'll take it all!

Mom's spirits seemed to be somewhat better today as well, although she did say that her condition was "dismal." When we asked what she meant, she said she can't do much and it's kind of disconcerting. We told her that the ICU doctor said we would be surprised at her progress at the year mark, and she was heartened by such a prognosis. As we analyze her feelings, it is easy to see her perspective. She told us that she has absolutely no memory of anything since her surgery, and in fact, can't even remember as recently as her birthday (Sept. 3rd). When we tell her how great she is doing, it is somewhat confusing to her since she doesn't have the perspective of knowing where she's been. All she knows is that she can't remember how to do even the simplest of tasks and that her hands don't work very well. It would be quite disconcerting from that point of view, to say the least!

But it is truly heartening to see her progress week by week. When we look back even two weeks, her progress is absolutely astounding. We'll just keep hoping and praying for miracles in her heart and mind as well as her feet and hands!

Tonight as she said the family prayer she prayed that ,"Our eyes might be enlightened and our souls be filled with Thy love." Well said, sweet Mother, well said.

p.s. Nothing from the insurance company. The appeal can take up to 72 hours, so it sounds as if we may not know until Monday. Keep praying!!!

I was wearing the blue socks!

2009-10-09T23:26:00.001-07:00

One of our biggest fears came to pass last night. Despite the bed alarm, Mom got herself up and out of bed in the middle of the night and ended up on the floor. She was not upset, and fortunately did not seem to be hurt. Her comment to the doctor about it this morning was, "I was wearing the blue socks." We had to smile, because yesterday we had a discussion with her about being sure to wear the blue socks with the grippy white stripes on them when she stands up so her feet won't slide out from under her. Her short term memory is definitely improving!

Early this morning Alan stopped by the hospital on his way to work to refuse the vitamins before they had a chance to give them to Mom. When Jim Jr. arrived he was able to speak with Mom's doctor about our desire to discontinue some of Mom's meds - namely the vitamins and stomach-acid reducers. Although the doctor did not agree with our theory, Mom did not receive any of those medications today. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to make much of an immediate difference, as she still did not eat much today. Dinner consisted of half a roll. Consequently, they are giving Mom supplemental nourishment through her PEG line tonight. However, we want to give our theory a few days to see if it has any positive effect. We don't have much to lose!

This morning Mom participated in therapy, but was pretty sleepy this afternoon. When I arrived at dinnertime, she finished her dinner (all half of a roll!) and wanted a shower. I'm happy to announce that I redeemed myself this time around and it was not too traumatic of an experience! (It's amazing what you can do when you practice with the funky shower equipment BEFORE wheeling Mom into the shower!) Dad found the blow dryer and we got some warm blankets, so Mom ended the day snuggled into bed, all clean and cozy.

Still no word on the appeal of the appeal of the denial of continuing insurance. (How's that for a mouthful?) Jim Jr. put together a packet of information along with video footage of Mom's progress, and overnighted it to New York where the appeals committee will be meeting tomorrow. It's hard to believe that anyone who sees the videos could say Mom is not progressing. We trust that Heavenly Father will intervene if necessary. Please join us in praying for their hearts to be softened.

And for Mom to STAY IN BED!!!

Light at the end of the tunnel!

2009-10-08T22:09:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0yI9vaZEf8

Mom going down stairs (this week)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfbwOMH10Ls

Mom walking (Sept. 27)

Here are the links to some video of Mom that you will enjoy. The one of her walking is almost 2 weeks old, and she can get around even better than that. She now only needs one person at her side instead of two, and she is doing most of the support all on her own. So, as you can see, Mom is really making progress.

The hope is to get her home a week from Saturday, but we have a LOT to do before then. Although she is quite mobile, she is very fragile, and hasn't re-learned many of the simple tasks we take for granted. We feel she needs a bit longer on the 12th floor, and the staff all agrees, but the insurance company has once again denied further coverage. This time we also lost the appeal, but it is being sent to an independent group for a further appeal, so we'll see. Their comment is that she is not making enough progress. Jim Jr. sent them the above videos which show tremendous progress, but we're not sure they viewed them before making their decision. What a crazy game we're playing, and we don't even know the rules! It's been quite the education, to say the least.

We're working hard to get to the bottom of Mom's stomach pain and have narrowed it down to a couple of simple meds she is receiving. Believe it or not, one of the suspected culprits is her multi-vitamin, so we feel there is nothing to lose by taking her off it for a few days. Unfortunately the doctor needs to sign off in order to discontinue a medication and he was at another clinic today. The other option is for the family to refuse it, so Jim Jr. is going to be there at the right time first thing in the morning to do just that. Hopefully it could be something as simple as that! If not, at least we tried.

Thanks for your continued prayers. We're getting there!!!

There's no place like home!

2009-10-07T20:25:00.000-07:00

Today Mom went on a field trip home!!! The physical therapist and assistant accompanied Mom and Dad and gave recommendations on items that need to be done around the house so Mom can function at home. Mom was able to lay on her very own bed, sit at her computer desk, and rest on the couch in her very own living room! She said it felt so good, but she was understandably exhausted when she arrived back at the hospital.

It's so exciting to see Mom this mobile, but it also has some drawbacks. Today Dad and I went to talk to someone on the floor about insurance, and when we got back to Mom's room, she was sitting up on the side of the bed ready to push herself to a standing position. While Mom can get around quite well, she always has at least one person by her side for support, so we are a bit anxious about her trying to get out of bed alone. The last thing she needs is to fall and injure herself.

Our next hurdle to overcome is Mom's stomach pain. If we look back on the blog we can pinpoint the exact day she stopped eating - Sept. 12th. She has consistently complained of stomach pain since then, and unfortunately, it seems to be getting worse. She can't say exactly what or where the pain is, only that her stomach hurts and she doesn't feel like eating. It's all a vicious circle, because if she could feel better, and feel like eating, she could have more strength. Currently she is getting most of her calories from drinks like Ensure, Boost, and instant breakfast. We're going to put on our detective hats and see if we can't get to the bottom of this. If it's not one thing, it's another!

But all in all, it's been a great day! Like Dorothy says, "There's no place like home!"

She's baaaaaack!!!

2009-10-06T22:15:00.000-07:00

WOW is all we can say! We had a real glimpse of Mom/Grammie today. She had that special twinkle in her eye as she visited with some of her grandkids and asked how they were doing and what they were up to. As we gathered around her bed for family prayer, it felt like old times (except that Brady offered the prayer in Chinese!) Everyone was so thrilled to see the Mom/Grammie we know and love! Although she is weak and tires easily, her sweet personality shone through.

Mom accomplished much today in the way of therapy. She can get out of bed, stand up from a seated position, and walk, all with minimal assistance. She is also able to go up and down stairs in the therapy room. Wahoo!

But our biggest excitement of all is the "field trip" home, which is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Alex, Mom's physical therapist, will accompany Mom and Dad in a hospital van on a visit to Mom and Dad's house. The purpose of the visit is to check out what accommodations will be necessary for Mom to function at home. We are so excited for her to go home, if only for a short time, and remember what her life is really like!

With progress like this, it is easy to picture Mom going home in the near future. Although she still has a long road ahead of her, she is traveling in the right direction! This is getting exciting!

Magnificent Monday - 10 Weeks!

2009-10-05T23:23:00.001-07:00

Today was a wonderful day of progress for Mom and a terrific way to pass the 10 week mark. Mom walked quite a bit today, and even went up and down several stairs in the therapy room, which is especially exciting since there are 3 steps into Mom and Dad's house. In addition, Mom was able to get from a sitting to a standing position several times today with only minimal help. She also got herself down from a low table onto a mat on the floor, and then up back onto the table almost completely on her own! She even supported herself for a brief time while standing in a doorway. The day's efforts were pretty exhausting, but she enjoyed a back and neck massage before bed. All in all it was a giant step forward. It's starting to feel like she is firmly on the path to recovery and independence, and gaining momentum each day. Here's hoping we are done with setbacks!!!

This is exciting!!!

Popcorn and lemonade!

2009-10-04T19:43:00.001-07:00

Thank heavens Mom is feeling better today!!! Although we didn't get to take her home on an outing like we had hoped, she enjoyed watching Conference in her room with Dad. At dinnertime she didn't eat too much, but said she wanted some popcorn, her favorite. So, we popped a small bag and she surprised us all by feeding it to herself! Then she went on to drink a cup of lemonade and munch on some apple slices ALL BY HERSELF! How exciting that she has enough control of her hands to manage lifting a glass and picking up popcorn on her own. This is a great step towards independence!

The nurse had some interesting insights about eating. She pointed out that an entire tray of food might be overwhelming to Mom. That really rang true to me, especially since Mom has never been a very big eater. In fact, she has always taken small portions of food, so the large quantities very well might be an issue. Perhaps smaller portions spread throughout the day might be the trick. Now, just how to go about that is a mystery, but it might be worth pursuing. Never a dull moment!

We are grateful for this improvement, and while it might seem small, to us it is HUGE! As we look back over the past TEN weeks (tomorrow, believe it or not) we can definitely see a pattern of good days followed by not so good days, and some downright awful ones as well. However, the sun always comes out again and we take comfort in knowing that Heavenly Father is in charge. We can't thank you enough for all your support and prayers on her behalf.

Eat some popcorn and lemonade in celebration!

Ouch!

2009-10-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

Mom was in a lot of pain today despite the pain meds she is receiving. It was hard to watch her be so upset and not be able to do anything to help. To me, that is the most difficult part of caregiving - that you can't fix things, and sometimes nothing you do helps. I tell myself that I just need to show love and support. Today I told her I loved her, and she said she already knew. I guess that's good.

As I was leaving, I spoke to the nurse and mentioned that we had no idea this procedure would be so painful. She replied, "It's not. Your mother is just choosing to focus on it." I almost decked her, but decided to just turn and walk out so she wouldn't see me burst into tears. Let's poke a quarter inch hole through her abdomen, muscle wall and stomach and then see if she chooses to focus on it or not. (Thanks for letting me work off steam.) (Sorry.)

Anyhow, Mom had conference on TV when I arrived, but she wasn't able to take much of it in. She told me she wished she could concentrate more on the talks, but I'm sure Heavenly Father will give her credit for trying! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. It doesn't look too positive for a field trip home tomorrow, but we'll just take it how it comes.

I still love you, Mom, even though I've already told you!

PEGS are NOT fun!

2009-10-02T23:18:00.001-07:00

Mom had the PEG line inserted today. We were under the impression that it was a simple 15 minute procedure. Maybe it didn't take a long time, but it sure has been miserable. Her throat hurts from the tube/camera they put down into her stomach and her lips are swollen and sore, not to mention the wound in her stomach where the device was inserted. They have been giving her pain meds, but the thing that brought her the most relief was when Randy and RJ gave her a blessing tonight. After that she rested comfortably. Hopefully she will feel better rapidly. We were hoping to take her home to watch a session of conference, but she'll have to make a pretty big turn around for that to happen.

At least with the PEG line the pressure is off to get Mom to eat and drink enough. The staff has asked the family to be less involved at mealtimes and during Mom's therapy in order to allow her more control over her progress. We feel good about their request, as it will allow us to just focus on loving Mom and celebrating her progress instead of feeling pressure to have her perform.

Tonight Mom said that we don't always understand what we have to go through but that Heavenly Father knows the reasons why. What a woman of faith she is! Love ya, Mom!

Round and round and round she goes!

2009-10-01T20:14:00.001-07:00

So Mom walked all the way around the floor one and a half times today! Way to go, Mom! The therapists have asked that we don't attend therapy with her anymore so she doesn't get distracted. I guess that means she's making progress, since they used to want us to come. Either that, or we're a bit over the top . . . (Hey, we're just trying to help!!!)

The PEG placement procedure is scheduled for tomorrow morning. While they're in there, the doctor will be checking to see what might be bothering Mom's stomach. If we can figure out what's hurting, maybe she will feel more like eating. Keep her in your prayers tomorrow!

Mom said the family prayer again tonight. It is always so wonderful to hear her talk to Heavenly Father! Jim Jr. is usually there to help feed Mom breakfast and he said she says the prayer on the food most every morning as well. That's our sweet Mom!

Tonight as I said goodbye to Mom I whispered to her that I pray for her all the time. She replied that she does the same for me! How sweet is that?!

Goodbye September!

2009-09-30T22:16:00.001-07:00

Again today, Mom walked around the entire floor with someone on each side of her for support. It is so amazing that she can do this, and she seems on the upswing . . . that is, until mealtime arrives. For the past couple weeks Mom has complained that her stomach hurts and refuses to eat much at all. In fact, she becomes downright cantankerous when pushed. She doesn't quite get the fact that she is barely skin and bones, having lost 15 pounds since pre-surgery. She told me that she weighed 118 pounds when she got married, and she's just about there now. But there's really no use trying to reason with her about it, as she insists she DOES NOT want to eat. That's why the PEG line is looking more and more necessary.

Other than that, Mom continues to progress. Tonight she sat straight up in bed, scooted herself to the edge and tried to push herself up and off the bed. It's times like this that we can truly see her being at home in the near future. (Now if only she would EAT!!!)

On the compassionate side, tonight Ariane told us that Sharon (Scott's mom) has scheduled knee replacement surgery for her other knee. Mom became deeply concerned and said she was going to put Sharon's name in the temple tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. when the temple opens. When we had family prayer tonight, Mom prayed for Sharon as well. Later, she asked what day she needs to be back in Indiana to help out when the Kastelers go on their trip. She said she is planning on being there and asked how their dog, Maggie, is doing! That's Mom, always willing to help someone. (Now if we could just get her to help herself by EATING!)

With the weather turning cooler, all of Mom's cute capri outfits leave her a bit chilly. Tonight Ariane and I found a couple long-sleeved pajama outfits at Costco that seem just perfect. I think she will be much more comfortable and I'm excited to see her in them.

It's hard to believe that it's October. Mom has been in the hospital for the entire months of August and September. Here's hoping she goes home before Halloween. Although she's never been too fond of that holiday, it will probably be really exciting if she's in her own house! Now that's a happy thought!

If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes!

2009-09-29T18:57:00.000-07:00

Mom's cough is better today. Whether it was the breathing treatment, the cough syrup, or simply getting better, we'll take it!

Mom had a great morning in physical therapy. We have found that if we keep her talking and engaged, she does quite well. Today she walked around the entire floor, with minimal assistance. Afterwards she was pretty sleepy and napped for a couple hours.

Food is still not too enticing to Mom, so it is a struggle to keep her caloric intake where it needs to be. Fluid intake is the same story. They are considering inserting a PEG line, which is basically a feeding tube that goes directly into her abdomen. She has had a PICC line since the day of the surgery, and they want to get it out because of the risk of infection, but we still need a backup plan if necessary for fluids, food and medications. The complication is that she is on blood thinners for her heart procedure, which makes the PEG procedure risky. Goodness gracious; I never realized how delicate of a balance life really is!

As you might have noticed, things change on a dime around here! It's like the old saying, "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change." But we're definitely on an upward trend and we are thrilled!

Nine weeks today!

2009-09-28T22:28:00.000-07:00

Mom started a cough on Saturday, which has become progressively worse. Although her lungs sound clear, tonight they did an x-ray to make sure she wasn't developing pneumonia. The x-ray did not show any fluid in her lungs, although it does show that the bottom portion of her lungs is not expanding fully. This situation is not uncommon in patients who spend a long time in the hospital since they spend a lot of time in bed and are not breathing as deeply as they would otherwise. Mom received some cough syrup, and the respiratory therapist gave her a breathing treatment, so hopefully she can get some sleep tonight.

Physical therapy went pretty well today, despite the cough. She walked quite far and pushed herself even when she got tired. Although she was not in as good of spirits as she was over the weekend, she seemed to maintain her physical progress. We'll take it.

When we think back to where we were nine weeks ago today, everything gets put into perspective. Hang it there, Mom. You're doing great!!!

Baby you can drive my car; yes you're gonna be a star!

2009-09-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

OK, OK, Mom didn't actually DRIVE a car, but she did go for a drive IN a car, and for sure she was a star today! About 5:30 p.m., we loaded Mom in Randy's car, and went for a ride up Big Cottonwood canyon to see the beautiful Fall leaves. Mom seemed a bit tired, but was part of the conversation, recognized places as we drove along, and enjoyed the scenery. We were gone about 2 hours, and on the way back to the hospital even stopped at Jim Jr.'s house to say hello to Ruth. When we arrived back on the 12th floor, we thought Mom would collapse into bed, but instead she walked a bit to get her bearings, and then ate some dinner. Then she sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. When we asked where she was going, she announced that she was going HOME! When we explained that she needed to be able to do several things independently before she could go home, she listened intently and then announced that she would have them all mastered in 4 days! Trust us, there's no stopping a Whitehead Woman when she makes up her mind, so this was a thrilling announcement!!!

For a couple weeks now, Jim Jr. has had a goal written prominently on the whiteboard in Mom's room. It says, "Pauline's goal is to walk out of the hospital and GO HOME!" Tonight Randy added a new list titled, "Pauline's own goals." He wrote down what she dictated, and then she jokingly added, "Walk on water!" We all got a good laugh out of that one.

After that, Mom asked who was keeping track of all the things she accomplished today. We told her that I am writing everything down on the blog, and asked her to list the things she wanted us to note. Here are some of her amazing accomplishments:

Fed herself some grapes and chips;

Walked from her bed to the restroom and out to the nurses' station;

Rearranged the covers on her bed;

Sat up and scooted herself to the edge of the bed;

Went from sitting on the edge of the bed to laying down on the bed;

Showed off her "Rockette" moves, lifting her legs straight off the bed;

Went for a ride in the car!

Not bad, dear Mother, not bad at all!!!

Before we left, Mom reminded us that we needed to have family prayer, and offered to say it herself. It has been an absolutely amazing day! Thank you, Heavenly Father!

The good times just keep on coming!

2009-09-26T23:10:00.001-07:00

Today has been the best so far! Mom was able to help get herself out of bed and actually walk when she needed to get up (with someone on each side for support.) She was so cooperative and helpful, and extremely aware of what was going on. Mealtime was much easier and for the first time in quite awhile Mom drank enough fluids that she won't need the IV at night.

Physical therapy also went well, with Mom continuing to walk short distances at a time without the walker. We had a great conversation with her this evening where she told us her earliest memories and feelings about physical therapy. "You're sitting there and they're telling you what to do, and that this is for your best interest. I remember just screaming and screaming. It was atrocious!" She then expressed her approval about the latest plan where she can control how far she walks and when she needs to rest. She is so appreciative of her physical therapist's "desire to really make it work for me. He was able to put it in perspective and look at it from my viewpoint." Her insightful comments let us understand her feelings, and it was so wonderful to be able to communicate back and forth.

Mom and Cheryl and I were able to watch the Relief Society Broadcast tonight on my laptop, and enjoyed each other's company as we listened to the wonderful messages. Randy popped popcorn for us to munch on, and Mom was even able to feed herself a couple pieces of her favorite treat! Afterwards, Mom commented, "I was thinking of all the things Relief Society means in our lives - true love for Heavenly Father and all the joy He brings into our lives." Well said, Mother!

The day ended with me giving Mom a shower - our first try without a nurse. All I have to say is that it is much harder than it looks, and I ended up going home with very clean (but wet) shoes. Poor Mom was almost traumatized when the shower head didn't cooperate and sprayed out COLD water, but we smoothed things over afterwards with some warm blankets and a blow dryer for her wet hair.

We're looking forward to taking Mom home for a session or two of conference next week! The good times just keep on coming!

Who says miracles cease to exist?

2009-09-25T18:15:00.000-07:00

What an unbelievably great day it has been. We hardly know where to begin with the wonderful news. First off, we learned this morning that Mom will be staying on the 12th floor for another two weeks! Who says miracles cease to exist?

And then, as if that wasn't enough, Mom walked again today, for the first time since last Saturday. But not only did she walk, she walked WITHOUT A WALKER!! Her physical therapist, Alex, got Mom on her feet by making a deal with her. He told her that if she walked all the way down the hall to her room, Dad would have to do the dishes for the next month. It was a lighthearted attempt to have her focus on something else during the exertion, and really helped. Mom made it about two thirds of the way down the hall but then needed to stop. As she rested, Alex decided on a whim to have Mom try the rest of the way without the walker - and IT WORKED! She was able to make it almost to her room with only the support of a therapist on either side. (Get the suds going, Dad!)

Then about an hour and a half later, Alex had a break in his schedule and came to get her early for the second session. We were worried that Mom was too tired to walk again so soon, but he came up with another plan which we feel was truly inspired. He decided to break up the walk into 30 foot increments and let her rest for a couple minutes between sections. It was a perfect plan for Mom because it allowed her to not only feel successful, but to also have some control over the process. She did a beautiful job and did not complain at all!

We are in awe of the Lord's hand in our lives, and hardly know how to express our gratitude for his tender mercies. Thanks for all your love and support. It has been a hard week, but the Lord did not let us down. He truly is in charge of our lives!

Mom and meds just don't agree

2009-09-24T23:07:00.000-07:00

Mom's been off Ritalin since yesterday. Late this evening she rallied and we saw an improvement in stark contrast to the steady decline she has exhibited all week. We don't know if there's a correlation, but we'll take it. All we know is that it was heartening to see her eat some of the dinner she had previously refused, as well as quite a few Cheetos, one of her all time favorites! She even said the family prayer tonight as we were leaving. What dear, sacred words they were.

We'll keep you posted.

The darkest hour is just before dawn

2009-09-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

IHC has declined to offer further assistance to keep Mom on the 12th floor. We are heartsick at this turn of events and can only trust that a loving Heavenly Father will buoy us up and strengthen us all through this difficult situation. We humbly ask for your prayers now more than ever.

Crossroads

2009-09-22T21:55:00.000-07:00

Despite the challenges Mom's knee pain has presented in therapy these past few days, we are trying to build on other possibilities. Today Randy and Jim Jr. trained on how to transport Mom into a vehicle so we can take her on some short outings for a change of scenery. Randy wants to take Mom for a drive up the canyon tomorrow to look at the beautiful Fall leaves. I would love to be able to watch the Relief Society broadcast with her on Saturday, and I know she is looking forward to General Conference the week after that. Hopefully we will be able to expand her horizons a bit. It would do us all some good.

The insurance company informed us today that they will pay through Friday, which brings us to a most difficult crossroad. One of the painful truths we are facing is that there is no other facility besides where we are right now that can provide what Mom needs in order to achieve her full potential. This is not about dollars and cents; rather this is about a beautiful, extraordinary woman whose life was forever altered 57 days ago. While everyone involved wishes we could turn back the hands of time and change what happened, we are where we are, and can only choose to go forward from here with faith and determination. We have seen enough glimmers of her remarkable personality shine through that we are able to hold on through the hard times and keep forging ahead. While we have no illusions that this will be an easy process, we have been told by many experts that Mom has much progression still to come. Our job is to be her advocate and help open those doors which will provide the necessary rehabilitation she needs and deserves. We are praying for divine intervention to guide us as we strive to help Mom become Mom again. We invite you to continue praying mightily for this dear, sweet daughter of our Heavenly Father who has blessed the lives of so many throughout the years. Our humble prayer is that He will continue to be aware of her needs and pour out His choicest blessings of peace and healing upon her.

Trust His tender care!

2009-09-21T19:25:00.001-07:00

Just for the record, brain injuries are no fun! Today was one of those days that left us scratching our heads and wondering, "Who are you, and what did you do with our Mother?" Mom did not want to do much of anything today, despite a great day yesterday and everyone's best efforts today. We did manage to get some therapy in today, despite the fact that Mom didn't want to walk too far with the walker. Jim Jr. and Randy helped her stand up and sit down on the side of the bed about 10 times. Then later on the therapists hooked Mom to the harness and she ended up walking a bit with the extra support it provided. But overall the day was mighty puzzling and downright frustrating. However, sometimes there's more than meets the eye . . .

Lately Mom has been complaining that the back of her right knee hurts and she doesn't want to straighten it out to walk. Unfortunately, it's next to impossible to walk with bent knees! Tonight, just when everyone was about at their wit's end with Mom's "lack of cooperation," Dr. Samuelson (the knee surgeon) arrived to see Mom. Lo and behold, after examining her, he expressed concern about the fact that . . . drum roll . . . the back of her right knee is forming scar tissue and is unable to straighten out all the way! (Seems as if Mom knew what she was talking about all along!) Anyhow, Dr. Samuelson ordered a splint for Mom to wear at night while sleeping which will keep her knee straight. The hope is that after a few nights the scar tissue will relax and she will be able to straighten the knee out all the way.

Today's situation couldn't have been more frustrating for the family and staff because it is evaluation time once again for the insurance company and we are in desperate need of a good report. What with scar tissue, an underactive thyroid and starting two new medications, the real situation is a tad bit hard to discern for those of us in the thick of things. That's why it was so refreshing to hear Dr. Samuelson's perspective about Mom's current condition as it has been a week and a half since he last saw her. His comment was that Mom is an entirely different person than he saw on the last visit because of all the improvement she's made! Now just how do we go about packaging that up for the insurance folks in Oregon?

We can only leave it in the hands of the One who can work mighty miracles. We will just lay this at His feet and trust His tender care.

Mom the Rockette!

2009-09-21T00:52:00.001-07:00

(Although the blog entry says Monday, I haven't gone to bed yet, so this still qualifies as Sunday, September 20th!)

Today was a very exciting day for Mom. She was able attend the short Church services held downstairs. After partaking of the Sacrament, Mom was pretty tired so she fell asleep during the high councilor's talk but woke up in time to sing the closing song! All in all the meeting was a success!

Beginning with dinner last night, Mom has been able have an unrestricted diet again. Although she didn't particularly care for the menu items she received today, she was able to choose her selections for tomorrow, and is looking forward to having a caesar salad! Fresh fruits and vegetables are not part of the soft diet she has been on, so this will be new and exciting!

Later on this afternoon Mom was very alert and visited with lots of family and friends. She is gaining new skills each day that show just how far on the road to recovery she really has travelled. Today she wanted to sit up and try to get off her bed. She went from laying down to pulling herself upright, turning her body sideways, scooting towards the edge of the bed and dangling her feet over the side. She even stood up briefly, with help!

Another trick we particularly enjoyed was when Mom raised her legs 90 degrees off the bed so they were sticking straight up in the air. She even raised both legs up at the same time, which is no small feat for anyone! We teased Mom that she was going to join the Rockettes with her fancy moves!!!

Tom and Junko Shimizu came to visit and Mom discussed in detail many activities and people from the Brentwood Ward in Los Angeles where they all lived in the 1960's. Mom showed remarkable clarity in remembering events and carried on a great conversation!

So, we are delighted with these small milestones that Mom is achieving on a daily basis. Together they add up to huge progress, and we are thrilled to recognize more and more of Mom's sweet personality every day! Please continue to keep her in your prayers, especially tomorrow as she is evaluated for the insurance company. Although we are making wonderful progress, we still need more time here on the 12th floor!

Up and down

2009-09-19T22:49:00.001-07:00

This morning Mom was awesome! First off, she walked all the way around the 12th floor using her walker. After she got back to her room, Ariane used the laptop to hook Mom up on video chat with the Kastelers in Indiana. Mom spent a wonderful 45 minutes talking back and forth with each one of them and could even read online messages they typed to her during the chat! It was so fun to watch her expressions and reactions, and she even crossed her legs as she talked! She was Grammie again, and it was phenomenal!

Unfortunately things took a downward turn from there. The chat took place during the scheduled time for speech therapy, but for some reason the therapist was delayed. We were anxious for the therapist to observe Mom talking and interacting so normally, and were disappointed that she didn't get to see any of it! It would have looked great on the reports!

In addition, the first walk left Mom pretty tired, so when the physical therapist came to help her walk again shortly thereafter, Mom could only make it half way around the floor, and she complained loudly all the way! The therapist was pretty hard on her and told Mom that if she would put the same amount of effort into walking that she did into resisting that she could be walking on her own. It was pretty frustrating to watch, because at that point Mom completely shut down. It was a lousy way to end an exciting morning.

It was the first time I had seen her walk in person, since I am always at school during Mom's therapy. I can see the therapist's frustrations, but on the other hand I could also understand Mom's exhaustion. She definitely does not have her old grit and determination back yet, but from what we understand about strokes, the exhaustion is very real. It is a fine line to know how much to push. She at least deserves some major credit for all she did before the second walk, but unfortunately, her efforts for the day will largely be labeled uncooperative.

This is very disappointing because our precious week actually started last Tuesday, so we are almost right back where we started with the insurance authorization a couple days ago. This continuous pressure to perform is becoming extremely tiresome, as it takes the focus off all the good that is happening. We need to remind ourselves that despite all the ups and downs, Mom's overall progress is really quite amazing. After all, it has only been ONE WEEK since she started walking!

As mentioned in yesterday's post, the doctor did start Mom on two medications. The first is synthroid which is prescribed for an underactive thyroid. Mom's TSH levels had skyrocketed to 31 and normal is somewhere between 4-6. This means that her pituitary gland is repeatedly sending messages to the thyroid to produce more thyroid hormone, but for some reason her thyroid is not functioning properly. An underactive thyroid can cause extreme fatigue, so this could potentially be good news as it is really quite an easy fix, but it will take a couple weeks to stabilize. The second medication they started is ritalin, which is prescribed to increase processing speeds in the brain. We are hopeful that these two medications will help Mom become more alert and cooperative.

On the brighter side, the speech therapist cleared Mom to have a regular diet. This is wonderful news because she was getting SICK AND TIRED of the same old foods every couple days. (She may never want to eat mac and cheese, green jello or lasagna again in her entire life!) To celebrate, we got a big order of french fries from downstairs and Mom ate every single one! Beginning Monday Mom will get to choose what she wants to eat from a menu, so hopefully mealtime will not be such a struggle.

Despite the frustrations of the day, we are choosing to focus on the wonderful things that happened and celebrate the excitement of Mom's progress. Hang in there, sweet Mom. Tomorrow's another day!

Fun pics

2009-09-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

Here are some fun pics from last Saturday night. We had a great time hanging out in Mom's room as a family.

Mom's goal: To walk out of the hospital and GO HOME!

2009-09-18T21:17:00.000-07:00

Mom continued to progress today. This morning as she walked with the therapists, Mom pretty much supported herself for the first 100 feet or so. The nursing staff is always so kind to cheer her on as she passes! Jim Jr. posted our goal on the whiteboard in Mom's room for all to see. It says, "Mom's goal: To walk out of the hospital and GO HOME!" Although we have a ways to go, we are keeping the goal in sight and working towards it every day!

Mom also got her hair cut today by one of the secretaries on the floor named Angie. What a kind and thoughtful thing for her to do! It has been two months since Mom's last haircut and her bangs were getting L-O-N-G!!! After the cut, Mom got a shower and shampoo, and I blow dried her hair. Mom looked so clean and pretty, cozily snuggled up under some warm blankets with a new hairdo!

Yesterday the doctor informed us that Mom's thyroid is not functioning properly. She has hypothyroidism, or low thyroid hormone levels, which may explain her extreme fatigue. Today they started her on medication to correct the situation. They also began giving her ritalin to help combat her sleepiness. We feel comfortable with these medications and are excited to see if they help her be more alert.

Another Miracle!

2009-09-17T20:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight about 7:20 p.m. Jim Jr.'s phone rang as we sat in Mom's room. It was the insurance company calling (after hours, mind you!) to tell us that the appeals committee had reversed the denial and approved Mom's continued stay at IMC!!!!! The approval is only for 1 week, but it is standard procedure for the insurance company to approve things a week at a time. The way it was explained to us is that Medicare requires documentation a month at a time, whereas insurance companies require it weekly, and tend to micromanage all care received. So, we will take this gift, and express gratitude to a loving Heavenly Father who continues to guide Mom's recovery. We are thrilled with this news!

Jim Jr., Randy and Dad also deserve a medal for the many hours they spent gathering information and packaging it for submission to the appeals committee. The hospital was a tremendous help as well. Even the therapists banded together and wrote letters to facilitate the appeal. We are so very grateful for everyone's efforts!

Today has been a great day for Mom in many aspects. Lorraine came again this morning and watched Mom walk clear around the entire 12th floor in her walker. Mom told Lorraine that she knows what she has to do, but that it is just so incredibly hard to actually do it. Before she began walking, Mom and her physical therapist, Alex, were chatting and laughing together. Then Mom, in a joking, but slightly defiant manner piped up with a funny line, "Now, just who is the therapist here, you or me?" Everyone burst into laughter. In reality, it is an overwhelming task Mom faces on a daily basis to look this incredibly painful therapy in the face and literally keep putting one foot in front of the other. And, we all pretty much "require" her to do it, even when she doesn't much feel like participating. She is to be commended for her efforts. In fact, this afternoon Mom walked around the entire floor a second time. Way to go, Mom!!

Thank you everyone for being a part of this miraculous journey. We couldn't do it alone!

Calm in the eye of the storm

2009-09-16T23:23:00.000-07:00

Well, to everyone's complete disbelief, the insurance company did not grant permission for Mom to remain on the 12th floor. Their reasoning is that she is on again/off again with her cooperation, despite the fact that she is walking each day and improving in so many ways. They recommend that she be moved to a skilled nursing facility (i.e. nursing home) instead of the intensive neuro rehab floor she is on. It's all a matter of dollars and cents (or is it sense?)

We have filed an appeal with the insurance company and spent the evening pow-wowing (is that even a word?) together as to the best course of action to take. Tomorrow we need to fax/email supporting documents and information to the insurance company to help our case. It has been amazing, no make that downright thrilling, to watch the course we should take unfold before us these past several hours. It all started when Dad, as only Dad can do, put his arm around one of the sweet nurses tonight and asked a question which ended up revealing some highly exciting news. Unbeknownst to us, on their latest goal sheet, the rehab staff estimated that if Mom continues her current progress that she could actually GO HOME in the next 2-3 weeks!!! Of course she would need some extensive help, but this piece of news was beyond our wildest expectations. (I seem to be using that phrase quite often these past few days!) As we looked over the goals each member of the therapy team set for Mom since she arrived, it became even more evident that she has progressed leaps and bounds. Then, as we sat talking at the end of the hall, one of our favorite CNAs joined the conversation. She explained that while the entire staff was skeptical about Mom's situation at first, they have all thrilled at her progress and are rooting wholeheartedly for her to stay. Bit by bit, as the night wore on we gained new pieces to the puzzle and were granted new insights about what we should do.

Despite this latest detour, we each feel peace and calm. It is our firm conviction and testimony that Heavenly Father is in charge and has guided our footsteps to this point. He will not let us down!!! Please join with us in faith and prayer for yet another miracle in Mom's behalf. Although we do not know how He will accomplish it, we know He will do just that! What a remarkable journey this has been to be a part of His great plan. Thank you for walking the path with us. Your faith and prayers sustain us!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, our sweet Mother had a pretty remarkable evening chatting with us. She carried on a delightful extended conversation and enjoyed everyone's company. We showed her the blog and told her that people all around the world are following her progress! She was astounded to think that everyone would be interested! Then we showed Mom the video of her walking and her first comment was, "I look like a witch!" Not even a remote resemblance dear Mom!

Last night Ariane read the history of Lynn that Scott just finished writing for Mom's birthday. Today Mom talked extensively with the speech therapist about Lynn's story and wanted to hear it read out loud again tonight. Thanks, Scott, for all your tears and effort putting that together. It was amazingly effective long distance therapy (for all of us!)

It looks like good news!

2009-09-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

It appears likely that Mom will be able to stay for 2 or 3 more weeks! The hospital's consensus is that she do just that, but now it is up to the insurance to decide. We are hopeful that they will concur with the hospital's recommendation, especially since she started walking last week. We'll take it!!!!!! (And yes, insurance really does run the world - mine at least!)

This morning Mom walked even further than ever with the walker and did not require the harness. Beginning at the therapy room on the opposite end of the floor, she walked all the way down the hall to her room, and then all the way back again. She had to stop once to rest, but she did it!!! It just wipes her out to walk, but it is so amazing that she can! When we stop to think where she was when she first arrived on the 12th floor two weeks ago, it is truly remarkable. Reading the back entries on the blog help keep it all in perspective.

This afternoon Mom did not want to do much more therapy, but I'm pretty sure that if I had run a marathon in the morning, I wouldn't be up to another one in the afternoon. From her reaction, that's probably a pretty fair comparison. She's pretty vocal about things when she doesn't want to participate, but it's her only way to protest. (That and clenching her mouth shut when she doesn't want to eat anymore!) It must be pretty maddening from her end, but we only want what's best.

In occupational therapy they show Mom lots of pictures of everyday objects and ask questions about the items. The idea is to keep repeating things until they are automatic, but sometimes Mom gets exasperated and tells them she has already answered their questions. I guess it's a good sign if she can remember that she has seen them previously, but when she won't answer the second time around it doesn't look good on the evaluation. Ah, protocol!

This morning Dad and Jim Jr. went down to the ICU and were able to talk with Mom's original neuro specialist. He was able to reassure them that Mom's on again/off again behavior is normal for her type of brain injury, and that she is making good progress. Up on the 12th floor they are used to dealing with typical stroke patients, but Mom's stroke was quite unusual and her reactions are not what they are used to seeing. It was comforting to hear that her reactions are to be expected.

We really do love you, dear Mother! Have a good snooze (and stay in the bed!)

Ho Hum Monday

2009-09-14T23:16:00.000-07:00

Today was so so. The therapists tried to get Mom to walk with the walker five different times this morning, but each time she was too tired and just sat down. Later in the afternoon, they tried the harness in addition to the walker, and she was able to walk down the hall three times. I guess she just needed some additional help holding herself up today. Some days are like that!

She did a bit better today with food and drink, so that was a plus. She also got another shower and shampoo, and enjoyed getting her hair blow dried as she snuggled under some warm blankets. After that we left for about half an hour to go downstairs for a bite to eat. When we got back, Mom was in a much better mood, and we enjoyed a good visit for a bit, complete with conversation and laughter. After family prayer we left so she could rest. We're praying for a good night's sleep and a better tomorrow.

Sleep tight, sweet Mom! We love you so!

Grammie Walks (Fixed)

2009-09-13T23:17:00.001-07:00

Gymnastic maneuvers

2009-09-13T22:10:00.000-07:00

This morning we arrived to find that Mom had fallen out of bed last night. The nurse came in around 11 p.m. to find Mom on the floor. They did a CT scan which thankfully was normal, so we feel pretty fortunate. They have switched beds to one that has a bed alarm when she moves too much, so hopefully she won't repeat her gymnastic maneuvers tonight!

We were so excited that Mom and Dad's stake arranged to have stake conference streaming live on the internet so Mom could watch it from the hospital. How thoughtful of them!!! However, the hospital guest internet could not handle such a large load, so Dad, Randy and Cheryl decided to take Mom to Sacrament Meeting downstairs. Unfortunately it was cancelled, but they were still able to take the sacrament.

Afterwards, Mom had physical therapy which was the bright spot in her day. She was able to walk about 225 feet in her walker!!! She was exhausted but it was a wonderful accomplishment!

For the rest of the day Mom wasn't too alert despite having quite a few visitors. She also wasn't much interested in her meals. Up until yesterday, she had been finishing all her food, but struggling to get enough fluids. Yesterday the trend reversed itself and Mom drank fluids but wouldn't eat much. Today she didn't want either.

We left quite early so she could hopefully get a good night's rest. Here's hoping tomorrow she will wake refreshed and ready for a new day!

p.s. We're having technical difficulties with the video from earlier today, so check back in a bit. It's worth the wait!!!

Lead me, guide me, WALK beside me!

2009-09-12T18:44:00.000-07:00

Unbelievable news! Mom WALKED today, three times!!! We are in awe of this major miracle, which was beyond any of our wildest dreams. As you recall, yesterday Mom "walked" down the hall in a harness suspended from the ceiling. Last night I thought to myself, "Maybe one day Mom will be able to walk with a walker." Then this morning about 10 a.m. I got a call from Jim Jr., saying that Mom had done just that! One of the therapists decided to give Mom a try on the walker and, miracle of miracles, she did it! She was able to support herself and walk all the way down the hall. No one ever thought she would be to walk on her own for a long, long time. After all, it was only 3 days ago that mom even moved her knees for the therapist for the first time. We humbly acknowledge Heavenly Father's divine influence, and His direct hand in granting this miracle.

Up and at 'em!

2009-09-11T22:18:00.001-07:00

Today Mom did something quite exciting in physical therapy. The therapists hooked her up to a harness which is connected to a track on the ceiling, and helped her walk some 70 feet down the hallway! While she wasn't weight bearing (because the harness was holding her up) and the therapists were guiding her legs to take one step in front of the other, it was breathtaking to see her upright and moving!

Shortly after her "walk" Mom had a visit from her ward Relief Society presidency. What beautiful women, who provided some sweet relief and buoyed us all up with their kind words and cheer. They also brought more heartfelt notes from the sisters in the ward, and it was so thoughtful of everyone to share their tender feelings about our beautiful mother. What a blessing their ward has been to Mom and Dad! They are helping out in so many ways, from mowing the lawn to taking out the garbage cans, weeding the flower beds and even planting more cheerful flowers in the planters on the porch! We can never adequately express our gratitude for their thoughtful expressions of love and support. It has meant so much to all of us!

Tonight Jim Jr. hooked his camera up to the TV in Mom's room and played video footage of the day's events. Mom intently watched highlights of her day. It must have been pretty enlightening for Mom to see her therapy from a different, more comfortable perspective. Hopefully she could understand what we see from our perspective and feel proud of her efforts.

As we wrap up our two weeks on this floor, although there have been many ups and downs, the progress Mom has made these past twelve days in breathtaking. We are praying for another miracle! Thanks for joining your faith with ours.

The Rollercoaster

2009-09-10T22:21:00.000-07:00

Goodness. I am getting much too old for rollercoaster rides. When I was a little girl Mom used to take us to an amusement park called POP (Pacific Ocean Park) where they had a rollercoaster. Now here we are all these years later riding another one! Hang on tight!

Last night at our request, they did not give Mom any sleeping medications. Although she only slept for a few hours, she was quite alert and coherent today, and was not given any wake up medications either. We are amazed at the difference between today and two days ago -- quite literally night and day. It is so hard to know what to do about the medication, but it is not fair to Mom to be drugged up and then not qualify to stay because she is not participatory enough.

Lorraine came to visit Mom this morning and accompanied her to therapy. She was amazed at the progress Mom has made since she saw her last week on her birthday. We agree that it has been quite amazing. Today Mom used her fingers and hands quite a bit. We saw her use her fingers to rearrange her blanket, as well as rub her eyes and scratch her head! She also did some amazing maneuvers with her legs, raising them straight up off the bed 90 degrees without any apparent discomfort. She is becoming more and more mobile by the day.

Unfortunately, this is not enough to satisfy those who make the decision as to whether or not Mom can stay. Although they have indicated there will be another evaluation on Monday, they have also asked what our plans are for moving her. They feel her progress is passive, as she continues to complain mightily about much of her physical therapy.

In fact, this evening Mom was downright angry. From her standpoint, she sometimes feels like a helpless prisoner during therapy as she has no control over the pain that is inflicted during the various procedures. Worse yet, she feels somewhat betrayed that we all watch it happen and don't give her any relief. Since she doesn't have a very good short term memory, it is hard for her to have any perspective about her progress. To me, this is clearly a result of the stroke damage, since Mom has always been driven and motivated to do whatever it took to recover after previous surgeries. Since these reactions are a direct result of brain injury, we need to have as much patience with her emotional frustrations as we do with her physical limitations.

Nevertheless, it was tricky at times this evening. During her frustrating moments, Mom said she needed to go somewhere and talk to Heavenly Father. She must have done just that at some point tonight, because later on she was full of faith and her feelings were very tender. We had to leave for a couple hours and when we returned she spoke with us for about 45 minutes, bearing her testimony repeatedly and expressing her conviction that Heavenly Father is in charge and will help things turn out the way they are supposed to. She said she knows it is going to be a hard road, but that she feels blessed to have the love of everyone and is grateful for the joy they bring into her life.

Amen, dear Mother, amen!

What a Turn Around!

2009-09-09T19:07:00.000-07:00

Last night at our request, Mom only received half the amount of sleeping med, and today she was so much more awake and alert! (They also increased her dose of the wake up med, so we're not sure which was responsible - maybe both? But hey, we'll take it!) We were excited that in physical therapy she was able to kick her lower legs on command (despite being downright mad about some of the other therapy!) This evening when the nurse was transferring Mom from her bed to the wheel chair, Mom totally cooperated and was able to briefly bear her own weight in a standing position with only the nurse to support her. So, we continue to see small improvements, and are grateful for every single one.

Despite the progress we see, the doctors and therapists are not quite as optimistic. They classify her as only passively participating in therapy as opposed to taking an active role. With time running out on our two week trial, we are anxious for things to turn around. Today in a family meeting we were told that if she keeps up like she did today they might allow her to stay past Monday. We really, really, really need everyone's faith and prayers over these next few days. We know that Heavenly Father has guided our steps in allowing Mom to be here, so we have faith that things can and will turn out favorably, and are pleading with Him to speak hope and peace to her mind.

Tonight we had some very coherent conversations with Mom. She was able to express some strong opinions, and although she was upset about a few things, it was wonderful to see her alert enough to express her feelings in the first place!!! We also watched President Obama's live speech on healthcare reform, much to Mom's chagrin. He is NOT on her list of favorite people, so she was a bit agitated to hear his voice. As she peered at the television screen during the speech, she said, "Who's that in the back - Joe Biden?" Pretty good long term memory there, Mom. She was also pretty keyed into the words she heard. Once when Obama said the word acrimony, someone asked what it meant and Mom piped up with the definition. Not too bad!

She also had a few lighter comments that were funny. When the nurse came to take Mom's dinner tray, she was pleased to see that Mom had eaten most everything on her plate. Jim Jr. made the comment that it's just the fluids we're concerned about. Mom piped up with, "Chicken fluids? What's that?" We all had a good laugh about that one, including Mom. Then when she was getting ready for bed, Ariane commented that Mom didn't have any holes in her socks (a longstanding family joke). In all seriousness, Mom replied, "I'm SO thankful for that!"

When it was time to leave, Dad asked Mom if she wanted to say the family prayer. She agreed and gave a beautiful prayer. Afterwards she told us that she was grateful for "all you guys do to make my life so happy," and then commented that "Heavenly Father knows that I'm not perfect, but He knows that I try hard." Of that we are sure, dear Mother!

"Wise and noble thoughts and a constant heart"

2009-09-08T22:44:00.000-07:00

Today Mom was very sleepy. We're wondering if she needs an adjustment with sleeping meds, but we don't want to play doctor. She has also been somewhat sad, which is not her personality at all. That could also be a side effect of the sleeping meds. Goodness, this gets a bit confusing! (I should have paid better attention during medical school. Oh, wait, I never went . . .)

After dinner we took Mom for a wheelchair ride downstairs to see the fountain and flowers, and hopefully choose something in the cafeteria. She opened her eyes outside at the fountain and looked at all the beautiful flowers. Then she promptly fell back asleep and was zonked all during the cafeteria part.

When we got back to the room it was time for a shower. We had a good time with the nurse and CNA as they got Mom showered and shampooed. We were all laughing together at some silly comments and jokes, and it really lightened things up! We are so grateful for the kindness and professionalism of so many people who care for Mom. Even on a hard day, as we are wheeling Mom down the hall, she will greet previous nurses and aides with such graciousness and appreciation for all their care.

Since coming to the 12th floor we have had visits from a few people from the 7th floor, and they are excited about Mom's progress. We need to remind ourselves that one step forward and two steps backward is normal. Ah, patience . . .

Tonight Mom got her finger caught on the feeding tube and pulled it out a couple inches. Bad timing, since they just reinserted it this morning. As the nurse was trying to get it back in, he asked Mom to swallow for him to help it go back down. When that didn't work, he asked her to give a little yell. In her very literal sort of way, Mom replied, "Yell." We all cracked up, since she did exactly what he asked!

By far the sweetest part of the day was as she was going to sleep. Mom was sad, and I asked her if she would like Jim Jr. to give her a blessing. She said she would really like that. Jim gave her a tender blessing of calm and peace. Afterward as I was stroking her head she was praying out loud and I heard her ask Heavenly Father to bless her with "wise and noble thoughts and a constant heart." We plead with Him, the Prince of Peace, to grant her exactly that.

Labor Day labors

2009-09-07T22:53:00.000-07:00

Today was a sort of grind it out day. Mom wasn't too alert, and seemed somewhat agitated. She even pulled her feeding tube out far enough that they had to remove it all the way. Since she doesn't drink enough (and it's mighty hard to spoon feed more than a liter of liquids a day) they will probably reinsert it tomorrow. We've decided that the feeding tube is not all bad because it enables the nurses to get the yucky tasting medicine down her quite easily.

There were some bright spots today. Grace Shimizu came to visit and brought some pink grapefruit, which Mom really enjoyed. She even brought some fruit for Dad! When we went for a walk around the halls, Mom greeted several nurses and aides who had helped her last week, and was very considerate. She also cooperated with the speech therapist and answered almost all his questions, and ate all her meals.

So, despite the difficulties, Mom is definitely improving. We'll take everything we can get, and continue to cheer her on! Go, Mom!

Fast Sunday Number 2

2009-09-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

Mom had a shower and shampoo this morning. Cheryl came to take her to church services (downstairs in the hospital) this morning, but the shower took a bit too long. It wears Mom out to be up for the shower, but it feels so nice!

She had a short session of speech therapy, and was pretty exhausted this afternoon. We took her outside for a walk around the grounds, and Mom enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the breeze. She ate her meals and we even got some ice cream in her to increase her calorie total.

Dani gave Mom a book called My Stroke of Insight for her birthday gift. It is written by a woman who was a brain scientist who also had a stroke, and it outlines her path to recovery. Jim Jr. has been reading the book and has come up with a list of specific things we can do to help Mom on her path to recovery. One of the things we have decided is that we need to leave earlier each night, so Mom can get adequate rest.

Tomorrow will be six weeks since Mom's surgery. We are thankful for all your prayers and fasting today, and your love and support during the past month and a half. Mom has come so far, and we can see small steps of improvement each day.

We'll be fasting for you tomorrow, Mom!

2009-09-05T20:56:00.000-07:00

This morning at therapy Mom stood up a full 90 degrees while strapped to the table. The therapist worked her upper thigh and knee muscles as she stood for more than 10 minutes. Her sense of equilibrium is slowly coming back. Due to the stroke, getting her mind to connect with her knees will be a challenge, not to mention the recovery that goes along with a typical knee replacement. But this is the place to make it happen.

This evening we took Mom downstairs to the cafeteria in hopes that she would see some tasty treat to complete her calorie intake for the day. She ordered potato soup and a roll with butter, which she ate out on the patio. It was a nice change of scenery and a chance to get some fresh air. Mom said some pretty silly things, but was able to recognize that they didn't make too much sense, and laughed at her choice of words.

Tomorrow is fast Sunday. Was it really just a month ago when we held the first fast for Mom? She has come so very far in the intervening weeks, and we thank you for your faith and prayers. We would ask that you include her in your fast tomorrow, specifically praying that she will progress far enough this next week that she qualifies to stay here for several weeks. We acknowledge Heavenly Father's hand in this process, and humbly plead that Mom will continue to regain and relearn the life skills necessary to come home soon!!!

The blessings she brings into our lives are without measure!

2009-09-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

Tonight when I came into the room, one of Mom's legs was hanging off the side of the bed and touching the floor. As we chatted, the other leg came off the bed as well, and it looked as if Mom were just getting out of bed and would stand up any minute! That will be a sweet moment when it finally happens!

We two girls had a sweet visit together. At first she seemed a bit discouraged, but as we talked further, her faith was strong and she was Mom again. I reminded her that she had come so very far in the past month, and even in the past week. We talked about Lynn and how bravely she endured her trials, and we both marveled at the memories. I told Mom that I was sure Lynn was close at hand and watching over her when we couldn't be there. Mom responded with, "I don't know how it works, or anything about it, but the blessings she brings into our lives are without measure." Well said, dear Mother, well said! Has it really been nine years since we were all together?

I brought Mom up to speed on all the many things my children and grandchildren are doing, and she gave me Motherly advice as she always has. She admonished me to have faith and bore testimony that Heavenly Father would shower blessings down upon us. It was so tender to hear her speak as only my mother can speak. How I have missed that these past few weeks!

Although we have so far to go, we are on the way! Together we can do this!

p.s. Check out the birthday pictures on yesterday's post, as well as the picture on Wednesday's post of the Young Women singing. (The fact that I am able to do this is proof that you CAN teach an old dog new tricks . . . if you're patient enough!)

Happy Birthday to You!

2009-09-03T21:44:00.001-07:00

Mom had a great 76th birthday. It started out with her sister, Lorraine, coming to visit. She brought a fun musical card, and Mom danced in her bed as it played! Then it was off to therapy - no rest for the birthday girl! Therapy went OK, but Mom was too tired to stand or do much during the last session. After a rest, the nurse gave Mom a shower and shampoo, and dressed her in a new outfit. She looked beautiful for her party!

It is a birthday tradition for Mom to have homemade angel food cake drizzled with lemon glaze, and this year was no exception. When we were serving it, Alan playfully announced that in order to qualify for a piece of angel food cake, you had to either be an angel or know one. Mom immediately raised her left arm straight up over her head and piped up, "I claim to be an angel!" How right you are, Mom! Cheryl also made peach sorbet with peaches from her tree, and it was so refreshing! Randy bought a carrot cake from Costco, and invited the entire floor to come to the dining room for a piece. Some of the nurses sang Happy Birthday to Mom, and everyone was so kind. She had lots of visitors, as well as several phone calls. Scott called from Indiana, and Mom carried on a pretty coherent conversation with him. They share the same birthday, so it was pretty exciting. Thank you everyone for making it a special day!

Mom ate pretty well today, but somehow came up short of her 1800 calories, despite having cake and ice cream! She ate all of her meals today, so we just assumed she had gotten enough calories or we would have pushed a bit more. Oh well. I never realized just how many bites it takes to get to 1800 calories! (Unfortunately it's never hard for me!)

We are excited about the progress Mom is making. We've come a long way since last week. Keep on keeping on, birthday girl, and we'll get there yet!

Mine angels round about you, to bear you up . . .

2009-09-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

Today was the best we've had in some time. Mom stood up three different times in therapy, and was quite alert for most of the day! Unfortunately they reinserted the feeding tube, despite the fact that we thought she was eating quite well. They explained that Mom needs to have a minimum of 1800 calories each day for optimum recovery and rehab, so her intake is carefully monitored. The plan is to use the feeding tube at night to administer whatever calories were missed during the day. Tonight she was short 245 calories, so Randy and Cheryl went down to the cafeteria and bought all sorts of delectable goodies to entice Mom with. Between choosing the food, feeding it to her, and checking online to calculate the calorie count of each bite, it was a family affair to make up the deficit! I guess that illustrates just how fond we are of the feeding tube. NOT!

Ruth and Alycia came to wish Mom happy birthday a day early. They brought a really fun musical balloon that you can tap and it will play a rocking version of Elvis singing Happy Birthday. Mom could actually bat the balloon to make it play and danced in her bed to the beat! When I arrived, Dad asked if she wanted to dance with the balloon again. Mom replied that she would rather dance with him!

The highlight of the day happened about 7:00 p.m. After a very painful procedure, Mom finally relaxed and began resting comfortably. Shortly thereafter, Mom and Dad's Bishop and home teacher arrived with a cheerful arrangement of flowers to wish Mom a happy birthday. As we were visiting, the door opened and in walked about 15 beautiful Young Women and their leaders. I can't begin to describe the feeling they brought into the room as those sweet Young Women gathered around Mom's bed and began singing to her. They started off with "Happy Birthday," and then sang "A Child's Prayer," one of my favorite Primary songs. Then they presented Mom with a vase of gorgeous burgundy gerbera daisies and a memory binder decorated with her name, full of sweet notes from each Young Woman. Mom thanked them all for coming and bore her testimony to them. It was so tender. Dad, Jim Jr. and I could hardly contain ourselves. I couldn't help but think of D&C 84:88: "I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." Although those beautiful girls probably don't realize it, they were truly angels from our Heavenly Father, sent to brighten our countenances and lift up our feeble knees. They brought tears to my eyes as the Spirit bore witness to my weary heart that Heavenly Father is truly aware of us and is guiding our situation. What a beautiful experience!

I want to go home!

2009-09-01T18:23:00.000-07:00

This morning when Jim Jr. stopped by on his way to work, he found Mom sleeping on her stomach. That was her favorite sleeping position before her surgery, and we were excited that she managed to get herself rolled over. Just don't roll all the way off the bed, Mom!

The rehab floor is a happening place! They get Mom dressed about 10 a.m. and then have various therapy sessions scheduled between 11 a.m - 2 p.m. She works with both occupational and speech therapy, and has two sessions each day with physical therapy as well. She also met with a recreational therapist today to discuss activities she would like to be able to do again for enjoyment, such as working on genealogy and family photos.

This morning in physical therapy she stood up with the aid of the special table for 15-20 minutes, with her feet flat on the ground and weight bearing. One of her friends from Church stopped to visit, and Mom talked with her during therapy. However, all that standing wore Mom out, and she was pretty sleepy during the afternoon. She did sit in the wheelchair for most of the day though, and then had a shower and shampoo in the late afternoon.

After a nap, Mom ate most of her dinner, for which we were grateful, as she didn't eat breakfast, and had to be coaxed to eat lunch. I'm still learning the tricks of the trade when feeding her. I made the mistake of giving her the pills before she was done eating. They taste pretty nasty, and sometimes Mom clamps her mouth shut and refuses to eat any more after that. The trick is to offer the pills after she has finished everything else. OK, OK, I admit, I'm a slow learner! It's pretty important that she eats, because the doctor has said he'll reinsert the feeding tube if she doesn't eat. We want to avoid that at all cost!

This evening Mom was still sleepy. However, instead of being incoherent, today she sang alot. I'll take the singing anytime over the rambling and babbling. Sometimes she hums quietly, but other times she can really turn up the volume. Most of the time she doesn't sing the words, just the tune, but occasionally she catches us off guard. During one such moment, she startled us by singing, "I - want - to - go - home," to a random tune. We hugged her and told her we couldn't agree more. That's what we're all praying for!

One of the more poignant things she said tonight was, "I'm anxious to get on with my life. I know I can't have it all, but I can have a little." Hang in there, Mom! We're praying for you every single step of the way!!!!

Up, up and away!

2009-08-31T19:38:00.000-07:00

Well, Mom is upstairs on the 12th floor, in direct answer to our prayers. She spent the afternoon being evaluated by her new doctor as well as members of her therapy team. They have developed a pretty aggressive plan for rehab, and we are excited. Beginning tomorrow morning they will get her up and dressed, and then it's off to some pretty intensive therapy. They will develop a routine and schedule for her which should be very helpful.

The therapy room is absolutely beautiful. It has big panoramic windows that look out over the south part of the valley and you can see clear to the point of the mountain. It will be good to have such a breathtaking change of scenery.

Today Mom was pretty loopy. The doctor wants her to sit up in the wheelchair more than she is in bed, and she was quite out of sorts for several hours. We have discovered than when she is uncomfortable, she can be quite incoherent, so we are trying to find out exactly what hurts and take care of it. Later on this evening as she began to feel more comfortable, she was her sweet self again and had a nice conversation with Ariane. It is quite the adventure trying to figure everything out.

To be perfectly honest, it is hard to watch when Mom is off in her own world. I have discovered than if I sing hymns or Primary songs right into Mom's ear, it distracts her and calms her down. She also sings herself at times, and we think it's one way she copes with what is going on. Another method she uses is to go to sleep, but we need her to be alert and participate in therapy. What a vicious circle!!!

We truly need your faith and prayers. As we look forward to another fast Sunday this week, we also ask that you include Mom in your fast. It means so much to us.

Hang on for the ride!

2009-08-30T22:46:00.000-07:00

Today we got a special surprise. My childhood friend from Ohio, Gretchen (Keck) McCulloch, was in town and went to see Mom at the hospital. Mom recognized Gretchen right away and was so happy to see her. Gretchen has lots of experience caring for her disabled son, so she knew just what to do and how to help. She jumped right in and was so loving and helpful to Mom. I really appreciated her insights and ideas about Mom's situation and how to help. She reaffirmed how important it is to be Mom's advocate and to be there as much as possible. Thanks Gretchen! We love you!

Ariane brought her violin today and played some more beautiful music for Mom. She started off with several hymns, and then played some classical music as well. Mom cried and said the music was so beautiful. One of the patients down the hall is in the Utah Symphony, and Ariane played for her as well! That really brightened things up on the 7th floor!

Mom was a bit more alert today except when she hurt. At those times she would retreat because of the discomfort, but we could see a pattern in her behavior. We had lots of fun with her when she was more comfortable. Mom ate her entire dinner as well as some yummy vanilla ice cream which Jim Jr. shared with her. She really loves that! Dad is so sweet as he feeds Mom, and when he has to hide a pill in a bite of food so she will eat it, he always apologizes for tricking her!

Tonight as he was leaving, Dad bent down to tell Mom goodbye. The bed was horizontal, and she was laying flat on her back, but somehow she managed to sit straight up into a vertical position all by herself!!! Needless to say it was quite an unexpected surprise! Way to go, Mom!!! The down side to this is that we are afraid she will fall out of bed. (Today when Dad arrived he found Mom with both legs hanging off one side of the bed.) They are having a sitter stay in Mom's room tonight to make sure she doesn't try to go exploring on her own!

We are looking forward to an exciting day tomorrow. It will probably be exhausting for Mom to move upstairs, but we are thrilled about the possibilities. We will be praying mightily for Mom, specifically pleading with Heavenly Father that she will be alert enough to participate in this new experience. We humbly ask for your faith and prayers as well.

Super Saturday

2009-08-29T22:52:00.000-07:00

We're still riding high about our exciting news from yesterday! Dad received a call telling him what we should provide for Mom up on the 12th floor. They want her to have several outfits, so today I went shopping and found a few possibilities. It was exciting to picture Mom wearing real clothes instead of a hospital gown! One of the things they do in rehab is have the patients get dressed each day. (That, in and of itself, would make anyone feel better!)

The doctors and nurses are excited for Mom too. Her situation is quite well known, and even those who don't know Mom personally, know about her and are rooting for her. One of the nurses told Alan that she has never seen a patient have more support than Mom. That made us feel good!

One of the sad parts about moving upstairs will be leaving behind Mom's different therapists, nurses and aides. They are so thoughtful and encouraging and patient, and have truly been a blessing in her life, as well as ours. We are so grateful their love, kindness and professionalism. Tonight as we were leaving we passed a bulletin board filled with thank you notes from patients to various staff members. Dad commented that we need to fill out a few of those before we go upstairs. Indeed we do!

These next two weeks are truly a gift from Heavenly Father, and we acknowledge his hand in our lives. When we look back to where we were two weeks ago, we are amazed at the progress Mom has made, and thrill to think of where she might be in the next fourteen days! However, our excitement is tempered by the difficulty of the hurdles that must be overcome. We need the fog to lift from Mom's mind so she can clearly see the path that lies before her. We are pleading with the Lord to help Mom make the most of these next two weeks and ask that you join your faith and prayers with ours in her behalf. We have seen many miracles thus far and have faith that we will see many more in the days ahead. Thanks for joining with us on this journey. Your faith and prayers lift and sustain us.

Happy (early) Birthday, Mom!

2009-08-28T18:24:00.000-07:00

We got the most wonderful tender mercy this afternoon! Mom gets to go up to the TWELFTH floor for rehab starting on Monday!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We got our miracle after all! We acknowledge the Lord's hand in this turn of events and know He is watching over us.

Mom didn't actually qualify, rather they are allowing her a 14 day trial period after which they will reevaluate the situation. But, hey, we'll take it. We are going to boldly petition the Lord to wake up her mind and help her be more alert so she can fully participate in this experience. From our observations and the things we've been told, they are miracle workers on the 12th floor, but Mom will need to work hard. We ask for more faith and prayers on her behalf for this miracle to occur.

Now for some more "Mom"isms. Tonight during a mundane conversation, Mom quipped to Dad, "Oh, Jim, don't panic!" A bit later she retorted, "You know, Diane, I know more than you'll ever know!" (She really meant, of course, that she is more aware of our conversations than we think.)

At times Mom realizes that she's not making sense. "Let's see . . . what am I trying to say?" And then tonight she opened her eyes, glared directly at us and said, "I thought in all my ramblings, I made some valid points." Now that's the Mom we know and love!

Happy (early) birthday, sweet Mom! You deserve this chance!

Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorraine

2009-08-27T22:01:00.000-07:00

Today Mom's sister, Lorraine, came to visit. That is always a fun change of pace for Mom. It was good for the staff to meet the person whose name Mom says probably a thousand times a day! She even calls one of the nurses Lorraine, and the nurse is a super good sport about it. As a matter of fact, Mom calls ALL of us Lorraine, with some Louise's (another sister) thrown in for good measure. When I say, "Mom, this is Diane," she sometimes replies, "OK, Lorraine."

We try to get Mom outside a couple times each day. Tonight Randy was the wheelchair driver, and chauffeured Mom around for about half an hour. We tried to coax her to open her eyes and see the sights, but she was pretty tired. Although she holds herself up well in the wheelchair, and doesn't have to have a "seatbelt," she didn't want to look around. That's OK - we think getting her outside is very important.

Mom continues to use her right arm and hand more and more. She can now lift both hands and arms over her head, and can frequently be found with her head resting on one of her arms. She is also eating most all of her meals, which gives her much more energy. Her nights are still very restless, so she continues to doze off during the day.

We are still checking out different nursing homes. (This is really not fun.) It looks as if Mom will get a new place to live for her birthday (one week from today.) The place we are leaning towards does not have private rooms, which is a real drawback, but it does have a great reputation for rehab, which is what we want.

Keep praying for us as we navigate through this process. We appreciate your love and support!

Shake it off

2009-08-27T00:20:00.000-07:00

(I know it says Thursday on the blog date, but I haven't gone to bed yet, so this still qualifies as Wednesday!)

Jim Jr. arrived early this morning to find Mom laying on her side with both knees bent about 90 degrees! This means she is MOVING HER LEGS! Yahoo! It must feel so good to be off her back! She has also begun lifting her RIGHT arm above her head, and can squeeze with her fingers on that hand! In fact, she is so mobile that the nurses are afraid she will fall out of bed, and are watching her carefully to prevent that from happening.

Mom had some pretty intense therapy today, which included standing with a new contraption which has straps around her hips to keep her upright. She wasn't sure she liked that, but we think it is wonderful!

We've also been checking out more facilities, including taking a tour of the intensive rehab facilities upstairs in the hospital. It is a thousand times better than any other facility we have seen, which only makes us want that for her all the more. We need her to be as awake and alert as possible to make that happen.

Today Mom alternated between being aware of what was going on around her, and being agitated. It is hard to watch when she is so upset. Sometimes we can change the subject, clap loudly, talk softly into her ear, or play music to calm her down. Other times she repeatedly calls out to her sisters and her mother and thinks we are them. During one of those moments tonight, Jim Jr. said, "Mom, shake it off." She responded by raising her left arm up in front of her and literally shaking it. Then she started laughing. Goodness gracious!

Tonight we were telling Mom that her birthday is next week. Dad asked how old she was going to be and she responded, "Over the hill!" Never a dull moment with Mom these days!

Step by step

2009-08-25T20:51:00.000-07:00

Today we asked to meet with the team that works with Mom, along with those who determine her eligibility to stay in the hospital and qualify for intensive rehab. We really appreciated their input and perspective as well as the opportunity to share our thoughts and ask questions. I especially enjoyed hearing the doctor share a synopsis of Mom's situation. He reiterated his feeling that she has come a long way and that she has a lot of progress still to come. He feels that in a year from now we will be surprised at how well she is doing. We have had some well-meaning staff advise us to accept how our Mother is (as if she will not progress any further) so it was wonderful to hear the doctor express his opinion that she will continue to make great improvements.

It appears from our meeting that Mom probably won't be discharged until Monday, so that buys us some precious time. We spent the evening visiting several nursing facilities. Although the first two were very unappealing, the last two had some real potential. It was a relief to discover that some acceptable options might actually be available. (We were beginning to wonder!) Since we met with them after hours, we don't know if either facility has an opening, or if Mom will even qualify for their programs, so we have some work to do tomorrow. We also got some referrals from Louise and Lorraine tonight that we will check out. We like options!

After we met with the team, Mom's doctor spent 10 or 15 minutes talking with her. Mom was very alert and the doctor was pleased to see such improvement. He was very forthright with Mom, and explained that she has a lot of work ahead of her. She told him that she is willing to work, even though it will be painful. Later on tonight, Mom recalled the conversation with the doctor and told us about her decision. It felt like we had our Mom back!

Mom looks more like herself everyday. She actually ate all of her dinner tonight and seems to have more strength. She even said the family prayer as we gathered around her bed before leaving, and sounded like Mom. She also has more movement in her right had than yesterday. So, little by little, step by step we are getting there. We are heartened by her progress and pray that she will continue to make improvements.

No go

2009-08-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

We are sorry to report that, despite some amazing progress, Mom did not qualify for intensive rehab during the evaluation this morning. Although at one time or another we have seen her do most everything they are requiring, she didn't perform well enough during the evaluation. The hospital feels she is stable medically, and doesn't require further hospitalization. The only other option they offer is intensive rehab and they don't feel she has the stamina required. They have given us until Wednesday to choose another facility. We spent this afternoon visiting some nursing facilities, but don't feel we have found the right place yet.

Mom, on the other hand, had a pretty great day. Dad took her out by the fountain for almost half an hour, and then she stayed in the chair for quite some time after returning to her room. She was also able to move her feet for the therapist as he stood her up, and she ate quite a bit of her meals. In addition, she has begun using the fingers on her right hand!!! She looked so comfy with both of her hands tucked under her chin instead of laying flat at her side.

We think she looks and sounds more like our Mother each day. Today was Randy's birthday, and although she saw him at the hospital earlier in the day, Mom wanted to call and wish him a Happy Birthday again tonight. She had a great phone conversation with him, and then talked with Jim Jr. and me for another half hour. Today's alertness is in sharp contrast with a few days ago. Last Friday, we requested that they stop giving her the sleeping medication, and as of tonight we requested that they stop giving her the "wake-up" medication as well. (The list of side effects includes drowsiness, hallucinations, mood swings and depression, to name a few. Sounds like a great way to wake up, now doesn't it?) Hopefully she will be even more clear-headed as a result.

Thank you for all your faith and prayers. Although the evaluation doesn't reflect it, Mom is progressing in leaps and bounds. Upward and onward!

I feel my Savior's love!

2009-08-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

This might go down as one of the happiest days of our lives! This afternoon Mom was Mom!!! The physical therapist said Mom could go for a ride in the wheelchair and that we could take her OUTSIDE!!! When he got Mom out of bed and into the wheelchair, she totally cooperated with him and tried her best to do everything he asked. She thanked him for his help and was so appreciative of everything. We could hardly contain our excitement as we wheeled her outside. The weather was perfect and a warm breeze was blowing. We sat outside by the fountain and Mom was so happy and gracious to everyone. It was thrilling!!!

When we got back to the room, Cheryl and I helped the aide, Stacie, give Mom a real shower and shampoo! (Stacie deserves a medal -- she was a real trooper!) Mom was so happy she cried. At first we thought she was upset, but she told us it felt wonderful. She even hummed as we shampooed her hair! But she was exhausted by the time we finished, and it was all we could do to get her back in bed. Stacie brought warm blankets and Mom snuggled up all clean and comfortable.

When I first arrived today, I told Mom about the temple dedication, and how beautiful it was. She got tears in her eyes as she told me how much she wanted to attend. I explained how I had thought of her all during the dedication and told her that she has more faith than anyone I know. She thanked me for having faith in her and expressed hope that she would get better. When I asked if she felt discouraged, she replied that sometimes it is so hard. I told her that we love her so much and would all be there to help! It was a tender conversation.

We are hoping for the best with Mom's evaluation tomorrow. We're crossing our fingers that they will do it in the morning, as she still drifts in an out of current conversation very easily when she is tired. We are thrilled beyond measure with her progress today, and know it is a direct answer to everyone's prayers for a miracle. Thank you for your love, support and faith. It means the world to us!

I love to see the temple!

2009-08-23T11:22:00.000-07:00

I just returned home from attending the Oquirrh Mountain Temple dedication. As I listened to the talks and music, I was flooded with thoughts of my beautiful, righteous mother, and her unfailing example of love and dedication. She is one of the most faithful women I know! As I reflected on her example and teachings, I was filled with peace and hope for the future. I will be forever grateful that I am her daughter. Her guidance and example will continue to bless countless generations. Heavenly Father knows and loves this righteous mother of mine. I love you, Mom! We can do this!

Up and down and around we go

2009-08-22T22:03:00.000-07:00

Today was a better day. Ariane and Cheryl helped Mom eat yogurt, applesauce, and scrambled eggs for breakfast. We are thrilled she no longer has a feeding tube, but there is also a down side -- she now has to swallow some yucky tasting medicine instead of having it just go in the tube. But we'll take it. Who would have thunk a few days ago that she'd be eating real food this weekend? We just might get our miracle yet!

The MET team doctors are monitoring Mom's blood levels carefully every four hours, much to her chagrin. Mom truly disliked having her blood drawn before the surgery, and she definitely hasn't changed her mind in the past four weeks! She could now qualify as a human pin cushion, but at least things are holding stable from last night. We'll take that too. Another tender mercy.

As of this morning, Mom now has matching toe nails. Nancy and Derek came to visit, and Nan persuaded Grammie to let her finish the pedicure she started last week. Since last Sunday, Mom has had orange nails on the left foot and light blue nails on the right one, because it's hard to hold those cute feet still for too long! Last night when the MET team converged on Mom's room, in the midst of all the excitement one of the doctors commented on her nail polish! The new light blue polish matches Mom's hospital gown and the blanket on the bed. She's such a fashionable patient!

This morning Mom was quite talkative, almost like last Sunday. At times she just jabbered nonsense, but at other times her comments were quite lucid. Some of them were downright funny. One time Jim said something silly back to her. Mom looked at him and said in all seriousnes, "Listen to him jabber." Then we all laughed together.

Later, Dad asked Mom if she were coming to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple dedication with him tomorrow morning. She replied earnestly, "I probably ought to go or they'll call me a slacker." No chance of that, dear Mother!

We told Mom that the family reunion was today and talked about who would be there. When we mentioned Uncle Charles, we asked Mom if she remembered when he fell off the horse last Thanksgiving. She looked at us like we were crazy and said, "How could I forget that?"

Despite eating breakfast, Mom refused three requests from the nurse to have some lunch. However, when I arrived back after the family reunion I offered her some food and she ate it. We've decided that the key is to just give it to her, not ask if she wants any.

Every few hours the nurses do a neurological check, asking Mom questions to see if she is cognizant of her surroundings. Around noon, Mom was able to tell the nurse that she was at the Intermountain Medical Center in Murray, Utah. That's the first time she's been able to remember! We've been helping her cram for the test on Monday, and were so excited she pulled it off. However, when they asked again at 4 p.m. Mom couldn't answer the same questions, but hey, she'd had a long day!

She is still convinced the therapists are trying to kill her when they move her legs, no matter how we try to explain things. She calls loudly for her siblings to help, going through all their names: Lorraine! Louise! Johnny! Helen! And if you're the unlucky person who happens to be visiting during therapy, she is very upset with you. Poor John Kasteler got yelled at for several days!

We also think Mom occasionally pretends to be asleep when she doesn't want to do something. A couple times we have said, half jokingly, "Mom are you faking it?" and she starts to laugh. Hard to tell, because other times she falls into a deep sleep mid-sentence.

It's quite a roller coaster as sometimes we definitely have our Mother back, and other times she is quite unpredictable. One minute she thinks everyone is annoying, and at other times she thanks them for their help. How confusing it must be to have gone into the hospital for new knees and when you finally wake up, you can't move your limbs or do anything for yourself. Sometimes, when asked to move various parts of her body, Mom comments that nothing works. She has also mentioned a couple times that she has a new reality. We're all praying that it's only temporary.

But just when things get discouraging, Mom says some really sweet things. Among today's favorites are, "I just seem thankful for my dear family," and "I don't know how to do this, but my dear husband does." We love you, our dear Mother, and pray for you constantly.

Freaky Friday

2009-08-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

GOODBYE FEEDING TUBE!!! WaHoo!!! Today Mom passed her swallow test and is cleared to eat soft foods. This is exciting!!! She had more applesauce today as well as some of Jim Jr.'s ice cream from lunch. Beginning tomorrow morning she can have soft foods, such as scrambled eggs, hot cereal, pancakes, baked potatoes, pasta, etc. After almost a month without food, this is a milestone. Mom was asking for peanuts, her favorite, so it's a good sign that's she interested in food.

Also today, she had therapy and they bent her knees more than 100 degrees. It's pretty brutal to hear her calling out for help as they bend her knees, but we know it must be done. She also went for a ride in the halls in the special stroke chair. It's so exciting to have her out of the room and seeing different sights. As we passed another room, someone was having a coughing fit, and Mom said, "What is going on?" Jim told her, "Mom, we're in a hospital and there are sick people here." She seemed genuinely surprised.

Tonight as we were leaving, we had a family prayer. Dad asked Mom if she wanted to say the prayer and she said she would like that. It was very tender to hear her faith as she thanked Heavenly Father for all her blessings and the joy in her life. When she got stuck, Dad helped her finish. What a sweet experience

Now for the freaky part. On the way home from the temple later tonight, Randy and Cheryl stopped by the hospital to see Mom. The nurses were just finishing giving Mom a bath, and noticed quite a lot of bleeding from her ulcerative colitis. They were alarmed and quickly decided to call the MET team (medical emergency team). Randy said it was nothing short of spectacular to watch this team of about 25-30 medical experts suddenly converge upon Mom's little room and go to work assessing her situation. There were several doctors, along with specialists of every kind. He likened it to when the Life Flight team arrived up at LDS Hospital to transport Mom, except that there were 10 times as many people this time around. Anyhow, they decided that the blood thinners Mom is on for the heart procedure are most likely causing the problem, so they are adjusting the medications she is receiving.

So much for a restful evening. However, Randy said he felt at peace as he watched the situation unfold. We're just glad he and Cheryl were there. More tender mercies.

Will the real Dr. Seuss please stand up?

2009-08-20T23:06:00.002-07:00

Today Mom came up with some silly rhymes and nonsense words. I told her she was sounding alot like Dr. Seuss and she thought that was pretty entertaining! We're convinced that the sleeping medication is throwing her for a loop, so we're having them try an even lower dose tonight. We're pretty anxious to have her alert enought that she can qualify for the intensive rehab upstairs, and they have given us a deadline of Monday as her final evaluation. If she doesn't qualify we will have to move her to an off-site facility, something we are not anxious to do. We are praying for an outright miracle, and invite you to join us in petitioning the Lord in Mom's behalf.

Our big news today is that MOM ATE REAL FOOD!!! OK, OK, it was a few bites of applesauce along with her ice chips, but we'll take it. That is her first real food in 25 days - definitely something to celebrate! Tomorrow they will be doing a swallow evaluation, and we're hoping she can be cleared to eat a few simple things. (Who knew swallowing could be so complicated?) Mom also sat up in a special chair for quite awhile, and went for a ride around the halls. Mom's sister, Lorraine, came up this morning, and for the rest of the day, Mom called for Lorraine. She also threw in a few Louise's too! There's nothing quite like a sister!

Mom came up with some sweet one-liners today as well. Tonight Mom told one of the nurses that she needed to thank everyone for their care and testimony of the scriptures. She also mentioned that maybe she would wake up tomorrow and find all her aches and pains had been left by the side of the road. We're with you on all counts, Mom! We're all praying for you!

A hands-on kind of family

2009-08-19T23:04:00.000-07:00

Today was a roller coaster. When we arrived this morning, we couldn't get Mom to wake up. When she did talk, it sounded as if her mouth was full of cotton balls, and her speech was slurred. I was alarmed, so I asked the nurse to call the doctor. After he arrived and began to speak with Mom, she started to wake up. In a few minutes she was more alert than she has been since Sunday. (Kind of like taking a sick child to the doctor, and as soon as the doctor comes in your child seems normal.) It appears that the sleeping medication they gave her around midnight last night hadn't worn off yet. Needless to say, they will be reducing the dose tonight.

Anyhow, we were able to voice some concerns to the doctor. As a result of our conversation, the doctor has spoken with all the different therapists and asked them to be a bit more aggressive with their therapies. This afternoon the physical therapist bent Mom's knees beyond 90 degrees, much to her chagrin. Despite Mom's reaction, we are encouraged about this plan. From our observations, increased therapy results in increased alertness. We have also asked if they will put Mom in a wheelchair each day. We are anxious to get her out of bed and give her a change of scenery.

Towards the end of the conversation, I commented to the doctor, "You've probably noticed that we're a hands-on kind of family." He deadpanned, "No, I hadn't noticed," and we all got a laugh. I remember Mom telling me that she never wanted her children to be mousy or timid. I think you got your wish, Mom! Hang in there!

Does anybody really know what time it is?

2009-08-18T23:58:00.000-07:00

Today was another grind-it-out day. Mom slept a lot and didn't want to cooperate with the therapists too much. The doctors are planning some medications to help her get a good sleep at night and be more alert during the day. It is hoped that by being more awake she will participate in therapy more readily. Being in the ICU really messes up a patient's sense of night and day, so hopefully these new measures will help straighten things out.

It is also not uncommon for a patient to resist therapy. It is a bit disconcerting for us, however, as this is not Mom's personality at all. We usually can't keep up with her!

Thanks, everyone, for your love and support. It means the world to us! Please join with us in praying specifically for Mom to understand the importance of participating in therapy. I know Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers!

Dr. Samuelsen, the doctor who performed the knee replacement surgery, came by again tonight. He has been out of town for a couple weeks, and it was so good to see him again. It was also helpful to hear his perspective on how much Mom has progressed since he saw her last. We have to remember to look at how far she's come and not get bogged down in the day to day ups and downs.

Hang in there, sweet Mom. Get a good snooze and we'll try again tomorrow!

Different room, same view

2009-08-17T18:22:00.001-07:00

This morning we arrived to find that they had moved Mom to a room down the hall. She is now in 716. The bummer of it all is that when they moved her early this morning, they didn't move all her things. Alan spent about an hour trying to track everything down this afternoon. He was able to find some of it in the old room, but not everything. Nothing valuable, but special to us. (He did meet the new occupant of 724, a fellow BYU fan!)

Travis came in to help Mom stand up again, and speech therapy helped her eat a few ice chips. The nurse practitioner was excited about Mom's progress too. Mom is very involved in asking questions and wants to know what everyone is doing to her. She asks intelligent questions, but still doesn't fully connect what is going on. She continues to get pretty feisty when people move her legs. If one of us is in the room we can sometimes persuade her to cooperate when she doesn't want to. She says she doesn't like anyone to tell her what to do!!! (Is that a Whitehead Woman, or what?!!)

Bryce made a special copy of Mom and Dad's 50th anniversary DVD so that it loops continuously. We put it on this afternoon and she has watched it over and over. She remembers most of the pictures and events, and it is really sweet to have those memories playing. I don't know about anyone else, but I still get choked up watching it. What a wonderful life she has lived this far, and we still have lots of wonderful memories ahead of us!

Sweet Serenade

2009-08-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

Today we had SIXTEEN people in Mom's room. Ariane brought her violin and played some beautiful hymns (not hers) for Grammie. She started out with a special request, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing," and went on to play quite a few more, including, "I Know That My Redeemer Lives," "Adam-ondi-Ahman," and "Because I Have Been Given Much."

Mom was in fine form, laughing at everyone's jokes, including her own. One of the funniest was when Mom said she wanted to play Ariane's violin. Dad asked Mom if she could make her fingers work, and Mom replied, "Is the Pope Catholic?" It was so unexpected that we were all laughing, including Mom, who laughed so hard that the bed shook.

With 16 people in the room, it got a little noisy between songs. We jokingly suggested that Mom tell everyone to listen. We were all a bit startled when Mom announced, quite loudly, "Will the family please be quiet?" Everyone, including Mom, got a kick out of that one.

Mom was beaming to have her family gathered around. She talked to everyone in the room and called them by name. When Nan, Bryce and Derek arrived, Grammie said, "Hi, little sweetie!" to Derek. She told RJ, "Grammie loves you." When I asked if she felt loved, she said, "Yes, I do." Mission accomplished!

Nan also brought some nail polish to give Grammie a pedicure. Nan had previously painted Mom's toenails on the 4th of July, in anticipation of her upcoming surgery. At that time Mom was a bit concerned that she was too old for painted toenails, but went ahead and chose orange polish. Six weeks later, those toes are in need of a touch up coat, and this time around Mom chose light blue to match her hospital gown. Nan got the polish off the toes on one foot and had just started painting the big toe when Mom got pretty wiggly. We managed to finish the left foot, but the right one still has orange polish. That ought to get some silly looks for a few days!

All in all it was a magical couple of hours! This sweet lady is very well loved!

Tender Mercies

2009-08-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

Today deserves a second entry. Tonight Dad, Jim Jr., Randy, Cheryl and I all ended up in Mom's room at the same time. Mom was getting sleepy but was still awake enough to carry on an extended, incredibly detailed conversation. Mom is slowing becoming aware of, and is inquiring constantly about what happened to her, and her current condition. We were telling Mom about all the tender mercies that have been showered upon us over the past three weeks. We reminded her about the blessing she was given the night before her surgery, promising that she would see the hand of the Lord throughout this procedure . . . and shared some of the miracles that have happened to her while she was still in a coma.

Then, who should walk into our room but Danielle, one of our earliest tender mercies, the nurse who helped us get Mom moved from LDS Hospital to the neuro ICU here in Murray. She ended up being Mom's nurse tonight, despite the fact that she usually works in ICU. We were so excited to see her and thank her again for all she did for Mom and for our family. Then we shared with Mom some of the events she's been through. Mom bore her testimony several times about how blessed our family has been through this whole ordeal.

Her nurses assistant tonight, Ruth, has taken special care of Mom. Mom kept calling her Betty, and we were wondering what Mom was thinking. Dad finally figured out that Ruth looks like someone they served with at Adam-ondi-Ahman named Betty!

It has been a special treat to have been in Mom's presence tonight and the Spirit was there in abundance. We closed the evening with a family prayer around her bed, and left feeling peaceful and calm. So this was the biggest tender mercy of all, and reminds us all that this is what families are all about!

Goodnight, our dear, sweet Mother, wife and friend.

Out on the town!

2009-08-15T12:54:00.000-07:00

EXCITING NEWS!!! Mom just went for a ride in a wheelchair, away from her bed and her room! (OK, OK, not really out on the town, but this is huge!) They wheeled her to the therapy room where they strapped her to the table and got her standing up again. When they wheeled Mom back to the room, she remained in an upright position by herself in the chair for about half an hour, without so much as a strap or seatbelt! How wonderful is that?! She is so awake and alert and has been chatting away with lots of different people.

Wow! She just started talking about her condition and knew a remarkable amount about what is going on. Alot of our discussion about her condition must have registered over the past few days. Her logic and reasoning and vocabulary were definitely Mom. Although some of the facts were a bit disjointed, we were impressed. She connected sentences and thoughts into a cohesive paragraph. Amazing!

p.s. John and Sharon Kasteler just came and Mom told them, "Well I guess all I can say is that things evolve over time and turn out the way they need to be." Now, that's our Mom!

OK, OK, OK

2009-08-14T23:16:00.000-07:00

"OK, OK, OK." This is a phrase Mom repeats quite often as she tries to process what has happened and what she needs to do. It's also appropriate for this week as she has had so many procedures done. Thankfully the colonoscopy did not reveal anything new. As far as her heart is concerned, things seem to be functioning well, so we are ready to move on. We're hoping and praying that we can be finished with all these detours and get focused on rehab.

Today has been a bit discouraging for Mom. She is noticing that things just don't work the way they used to, and tries to make sense of this new reality. Last night she commented that she needs to figure out what works and what doesn't work, and she has mentioned a couple times that she needs a new leg. She is fiercely protective of her knees and tells anyone who tries to move them that they shouldn't do that again. She also said she needs to go home, and we definitely agree!

The therapists sat her up on the side of the bed again today, as the special table wasn't available. Mom also got a new feeding tube and began getting nourishment again after a 48 hour break for the other procedures. She says she isn't hungry and is not in pain, so that's a blessing.

The highlight of her day was visiting with her sister, Lorraine, for a couple hours. They talked back and forth, and Mom listened as Lorraine read excerpts from some of the sweet letters Mom has received. Mom recognized each person's name and told Lorraine how kind everyone was. Later on in the afternoon, Mom talked on the phone with both Randy and Scott, which she really enjoyed.

OK, OK, OK. Upward and onward!

No fun

2009-08-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

This has been a rough day. We left Mom sleeping peacefully last night, and arrived this morning to an emergency colonoscopy. I don't know about you, but my memories of having a colonoscopy rank up right up there with chemotherapy. As if that weren't bad enough, she has to have ANOTHER one tomorrow. When the neurologist who ordered the test checked in this afternoon, I asked him if he has ever had a colonoscopy, let alone TWO in a row. He got a sheepish look on his face and admitted that he has another five years to go. Ah, youth!

On the bright side of things, today Mom is more aware of what is going on than she has been since her surgery. (Kind of ironic, since today would have been a good day to sleep through.) We wonder if it is because of her heart procedure, but whatever the reason, we'll take it!

On a hugely upbeat note, the other exciting thing is that she is moving her RIGHT arm tonight!!! It has been so hard to watch her be in such discomfort, but I had to smile when I saw her right arm slowly, but surely, moving up and down a few inches at a time. Another tender mercy, just when we needed one!

They also stood her up again today on the special table. It was breathtaking to see her upright, and her feet were planted quite squarely on the ground. They also worked her arms and legs for a bit today. The therapists were so wonderful with her. We are so grateful for their caring and expertise.

Tonight, in the midst of her discomfort, I got out the headphones and she loved listening to Joshua Creek again. Later I put on the violin music that Ariane brought. It was so soothing and comforting. During the song, Beautiful Savior, Mom even hummed along for a few notes. Although we couldn't see them, angels were in the room with us.

Hang in there, dear, sweet Mom. We'll have awesome things to share tomorrow!

The Thing

2009-08-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

Earlier today after a peaceful night's rest in her new room (including hot blankets) Mom's alertness startled us. Among the unexpected, yet perceptive, remarks were these: "Jim, I just don't know what to do;" "This really bothers me;" "It's going to be okay;" "We're on the verge of new things," and when dad asked, "How's my favorite wife?" she answered, "Doing Great!"

When Diane asked what mountain she could see out the east window, after a hint, Mom matter-of-factly replied, "Mount Olympus."

But my favorite part of the day was when she looked over at Dad and said, "Hi, Love."

Mom also had a full (seated) shower and got her hair shampooed for the 1st time in 2+ weeks. And then the therapists strapped her to a special table and got her standing up on her feet (completely weight-bearing). Mom said it felt really good, and though this wore her out, it was well worth it.

She is obviously more aware of her surroundings, but perplexed (and bothered) about just what is going on.

But here's the exciting news. About 5:30 p.m., Mom had a "thing" installed in her heart . . . at least that's what the nurse called it! We think it was highly appropriate that she referred to it as a "thing" because Mom uses that word frequently, often leaving us to wonder exactly what she means. The "thing" is technically a helex septal occluder, an umbrella shaped device which clamps off the hole in the septum from both sides. (By the way, the doctor said the opening was about half an inch (13 mm) at it's widest part.)

As I type this, we are crowded in Mom's recovery room down in the cath lab where the procedure took place. It's kind of like seeing how many people you can cram in a phone booth. I think this hospital will be really relieved when the Whitehead family is discharged. (But not nearly so relieved as we will be!!!)

Theories are just that . . . theories

2009-08-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

Today was a day of change. First off, we have a different neuro specialist who has a different theory about what caused Mom's stroke. (There are 3 neuro specialists in the ICU, and they rotate amongst all the patients.) After studying her chart and reviewing all the tests, he came to the conclusion that small clots from the surgery made their way through the hole in Mom's heart and scattered in the brain. He feels strongly that the hole needs to be closed in order to prevent further strokes. His ideas made sense and we feel good about having the procedure done. It is usually done on an outpatient basis, and takes about an hour and fifteen minutes. Mom is on the schedule for late Wednesday afternoon.

We also had another tender mercy today. The nurse assigned to Mom this morning usually works in the Cardiac ICU, so she was able to explain the heart procedure to us and put our mind at ease. She also got Mom an air mattress which makes things a bit more comfy for her.

The biggest change of all is that MOM IS OUT OF THE ICU!!! Medically she is doing well, and no longer needs such specialized care. She was transferred to the 7th floor about 3:30 this afternoon. It is a neuro/ortho floor, which is perfect for Mom's situation. In some ways it was a bit disconcerting to have her unhooked from all the monitors, but it was exciting at the same time. She will still have the same physical, occupational and speech therapists, so that will give us some continuity. We were also grateful to learn that the neuro specialists will continue to be her doctors even though we are not in ICU anymore.

Mom had a couple hours today where she was very alert and talkative. She even spoke in complete sentences for the most part. Everyone on the floor commented on how well she was doing. Moving was pretty exhausting for her, and she slept alot this afternoon, but was awake and talking this evening.

Our goal from here is to get Mom's strength and stamina built up to the point that she can qualify for the intensive rehab floor. In order to be transferred there, a patient must be able to sustain 3 1/2 cumulative hours of therapy per day. The doctors hope that by getting Mom out of the ICU she will get more rest at night and be more alert during the day for therapy. She keeps saying, "I just don't know what I need to do," so we explain that she needs to work hard with the therapists when they come to her room. Her response is usually, "OK, OK, OK."

Although she is awake, she doesn't really understand what has happened. She realizes that something is not quite right, and this morning she surprised Randy by saying, "I just don't know what my prognosis is!" Despite her condition, she's starting to get antsy about lying around, and told me today, "OK, Diane, we need to get out of here." That's the Mom we know and love!

You've Got Mail!

2009-08-10T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today Mom was pretty alert and talkative. We've discovered that if we sit her up in bed she stays much more awake, so we make it a point to raise the bed and prop her up on pillows when we're there. Yesterday at church the Primary kids and Relief Society sisters all wrote notes to Mom. Dad read them last night and brought them to the hospital today. He warned us that they would bring tears to our eyes, and he was right. It was so special to share people's sweet and tender feelings about our Mother. What an incredible lady!

Today Mom did a couple things we weren't expecting. While I was putting lotion on her hands, she looked at the whiteboard hanging across the room and read some things out loud that were written on it! Shortly after that, Jim Jr. brought up a scoop of ice cream from the cafeteria and jokingly asked if she wanted a bite. To our complete surprise, Mom nodded her head! That is the first interest she has shown towards food. Unfortunately she can only have water or ice chips, and only from the nurse, so ice cream was not even an option.

This afternoon they took Mom for another MRI. It did not show any further damage in her brain, which is great news! However, we did get some other disconcerting news today. From previous testing up at LDS hospital, we know that Mom has clots in both of her lower legs as a result of the surgery. This is not unusual, and it isn't much of a concern as long as the clots stay below the knees. Well, they have done further testing and discovered that the clots in her lower left leg are gone. That might seem like good news, but clots do not disappear that quickly, so what it really means is that the clots are moving.

In Mom's case, clots are dangerous. From all the testing done after surgery to find the cause of the stroke, it was discovered that Mom has a hole in her heart which has been present since birth. In the womb, everyone has a hole in their heart between the chambers. As soon as a baby takes its first breath, the hole closes. However, in about 20% of the population, the hole doesn't close all the way. Normally this wouldn't cause a problem, but since we are dealing with strokes, the plot thickens. In a normal heart, blood returns from circulating throughout the body and then goes to the lungs for oxygenation. Any clots floating around are stopped in the lungs. However a hole in the heart can allow clots to escape before reaching the lungs. The clots then head straight to the brain where they can cause strokes.

We know Mom has a moving clot. We also know she has a hole in her heart, so there is a danger that the errant clot can cause further strokes. We are anxious to eliminate this possibility! Therefore, the doctors have scheduled a procedure to close the hole on Wednesday morning. They will access Mom's heart through a vein in her leg, so she won't have to undergo anesthesia. (Thank heavens, because I'm not sure any of us could handle that!) We are hoping and praying that this will be a relatively simple procedure and will prevent further strokes.

Thanks for your continued faith and prayers on our Mom's behalf. We know we are being watched over and we truly appreciate all your love and concern!

Look at that airplane!

2009-08-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

Sweet past couple of hours!!! We sat Mom almost upright in bed and she has stayed sitting for two hours. She is positioned so she is looking at us over by the window and she seems to be cognizant of our conversations. The speech therapist came about half hour ago and we got Mom eating lots of ice chips, something else she hasn't done since Thursday.

As I'm typing this, Mom just said, "Look at that airplane!" as she gazed past us out the window. This is exciting!!!

Today, instead of thrashing her head and neck to and fro, she has begun moving her entire upper body back and forth. At times she sits straight up for just a second and cranes her head to the right to look directly at us. She is also moving her left arm quite a bit, something she has not done since surgery.

Her long term memory seems to be intact since she instantly recognizes people she hasn't seen in some time. We were telling her that some of her relatives are following this blog from Greece. We were trying to say their names, and weren't sure if she was even following the conversation, when she piped up and told us how to pronounce one of them!

All in all, this has been a great day so far!

Life's Like That

2009-08-08T22:03:00.000-07:00

Today was a quiet day. Mom has been sleeping more and been less talkative. She didn't respond to the doctor's questions this morning, so he ordered an EEG to rule out seizures. As far as we know the test was normal.

She did enjoy listening to music today. Ariane brought some violin CDs, and the beautiful music was really relaxing. Later in the day I asked Mom if she wanted to listen to Joshua Creek (some of her favorite music)(Bryce's Dad's band) and she nodded her head. Mom likes to lean to the left side of the bed, so we could only get the right headphone on her. I wore the left one, and we both listened to music together. One of my favorite songs, "Life's Like That," couldn't have been more appropriate.

The highlight of the day was a surprise visit from one of Mom's nurses, Diana, who watched over Mom so tenderly and expertly in the recovery room after her knee surgery at LDS Hospital. Diana knew something was wrong right away and remained persistent until Mom got the care she needed. We consider Diana one of the Lord's tender mercies and are grateful she heeded the Spirit as she cared for Mom that day. The fact that she has been praying for Mom and would go out of her way to visit shows what a special person she is. Her visit really buoyed our spirits.

Other than that, it's been a grind-it-out day. We know we will have many of these, but it was still kind of tricky.

Big Piney, Wyoming

2009-08-07T20:42:00.000-07:00

Well. . . today Mom told us she was in Big Piney, Wyoming(!) and when they moved her legs, she told them that her Mother would not be happy if they did that again! (Her Mother really was from Big Piney, so she was accurate on that count.) (But it was rather random!)

They told us it is normal to take 2 steps forward and 1 step backward, and we think today was just that. She has been more quiet than yesterday, although earlier today she did tell Jim Jr. or Dad, "You know, Jim, I think I need to figure out what I'm going to do." Not bad . . . a remarkably coherent 15-word sentence!

So, we continue to make small, measured steps. Hang in there, Mom!

While you were sleeping

2009-08-06T17:02:00.000-07:00

Today Mom has been quite alert. She is much more aware of her surroundings, and seems to be trying to figure out what is going on. She says, "I've got to get going," and "I've got to get out of here." We've decided that the reason she has been moving her head from side to side so much these past few days is because she is trying to wake up and figure things out. However, she has really been pretty calm today.

This morning when her sister, Lorraine, was here, the occupational therapists sat her up on the side of the bed. They also worked her arms and legs as she laid on her back. She was in a lot of pain when they bent her knees, and tried to resist. We were glad to see that she could!

Around noon she finally opened her mouth for the speech therapist and sipped a few spoonfuls of water and ate an ice chip. She seemed to really enjoy that. She is very leery of anyone trying to put anything in her mouth, especially when they try to swab it out every few hours. We think it reminds her of the breathing tube. Who could blame her for that?!

The best part of the day was that she carried on a conversation with several people. She knows her full name, and calls everyone else by name as she speaks to them. She can also see the television and what is going on out in the hall. Late this afternoon she looked up at the television and said, "It's Pakistan." I looked up, and sure enough, there was a map on the screen! Way to go, Mom!

Later this afternoon she told Alan that she wanted a sip of water through a straw. We sat her upright in bed and she took several sips. It was her first drink of water in a week and a half!!!

The doctor said she is very stable medically and their focus now is on rehabilitation. He thought perhaps she would only need to be in the ICU for a couple more days.

When we look at how far she has come it is downright miraculous. We truly appreciate your faith and prayers on her behalf and know that Heavenly Father is surely watching out for her.

I count my blessings!

2009-08-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

Joani was just talking to Mom and said, "It's good to see you awake after so many days." Mom's response was, "I count my blessings." Now that's our Mom!

Wonderful Wednesday

2009-08-05T14:59:00.000-07:00

Today Mom has been talking quite a bit. She is quite restless and keeps saying "Oh my gosh," and "I've got to get out of this mode." When we ask what mode she means, she just says, "I don't know, I just don't know." When we ask if she is in pain she gives us a very firm "No," despite the fact that she acts as if it is really hurting. But she recognizes us, calls us by name and answers our questions. She also turns her head and looks at us while we are talking. We can see her personality today in her responses and actions.

The doctors are quite amazed at her progress. Our neuro specialist told us today that bad stroke cases sometimes have to be on a ventilator for a month, so the fact that she got it out on the seventh day is remarkable. He also told us that the fact we have seen such rapid progress is quite unusual and that this trend of early recovery is very encouraging. He said that her progress to date is due to the brain actually repairing itself and not as a result of decreased swelling. We were really excited!

We are having trouble with the continuous passive motion machine. It doesn't really fit on the bed without being jammed up too tightly against her thigh, but if we take the footboard off to give it more room the machine keeps working its way off the end of the bed. So, Dad and

Jim Jr. engineered a strap out of some twill tape (which they normally use to keep the ventilator tube in place) and solved the problem. They actually tied the machine to the bed in two places to prevent it from moving. Our sweet nurse said she might have to hire us! Her name is Diane too, so we told Mom she has a nurse Diane as well as a daughter Diane. That brought a smile to her face.

May I have this dance?

2009-08-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

Although she was sleepy this afternoon and evening, she spoke to several visitors. She said, "Hello, Lorraine," to her sister and called her granddaughter "Ariane Love" just like she always does. When her granddaughter Dani asked Grammie how her day was, she replied, "Fine . . . I think." So there was quite a bit of conversation taking place today.

The occupational therapists sat her up on the edge of the bed twice today, for about 10 minutes each time. They tried to stand her up this afternoon, but she was just too tired, despite the fact that Dad promised to dance with her if she stood up. She must have been pretty exhausted to pass that up, since she's wanted to dance with Dad for 57 years! Maybe tomorrow!

Good Morning Sunshine!!!

2009-08-04T13:39:00.000-07:00

Mom spoke her name outloud to the doctor this morning!!!!!! The oxygen mask is no longer needed. Her cough is more pronounced, showing that she can manage her airway. All incredible news! But the best news of all is that the doctor said she can see out of her left eye, and possibly a bit out of her right eye!!! How cool is that?!!!

She is also responding to questions. When asked if she wanted to raise her bed, she replied, "Not right now." When asked if she wanted to sit up in the bed she said she was OK. When the therapist moved her leg she said "Oh, my leg!" She even smiled at me! What an incredibly sweet smile!

They just finished washing her hair, so life's looking up. They have also given her some pain med, so she is a bit sleepy right at the moment, but it has been an amazing day so far!!

Welcome back!

2009-08-03T16:51:00.000-07:00

She's waking up!!!!! This is so exciting! They took out the ventilator about 3:30 p.m. and she has been wiggling around non stop since then. She moves her head from side to side almost constantly, licks her lips (she has a pretty brutal cold sore from the breathing tube) and opens her eyes. Although she's not looking at us, she seems to recognize our voices and even smile at times. Her legs are moving constantly as well and she seems to be trying to move her torso. She is moving her head so much that we can't keep the oxygen mask on her face. We are excited that she is breathing well on her own and can cough and clear her airway. What an exciting hour and a half!!!

It has been a great day. From the time we arrived she has been moving alot. The doctor was anxious to get the breathing tube out so she wouldn't develop pneumonia, but there was a very real chance it might have to be reinserted if she couldn't cough and keep the airway clear on her own. Everything went very smoothly, so we are thrilled!!

Hurray!!!

Fast Sunday

2009-08-02T16:34:00.000-07:00

Later yesterday afternoon, the occupational therapists 'picked up' mom under the shoulders from the back and they rotated her around, lowered the bed and placed her in a sitting position at the foot of the bed and began trying to hasten the 'wake-up' process from the coma she has been in the last 6 days. She opened her eyes and stared forward, in a way she hasn't done since Post Op Recovery. Very encouraging minutes!

The nurses are so patient and facilitating, working her limbs, planting her feet flat on the floor and had her sitting up (with assistance). They stimulated her hands and put her in a weight-bearing position, having her lean on them on the edge of the bed. She started to twitch and rotate her feet, ankles and legs on the ground. Some 20 minutes of this had us cheering her on and not wanting all this to stop! It also appeared she rotated her upper arms.

After putting her back in bed, and placing her legs on the CPM (continual passive movement/motion) machine (which keeps her knees from scarring and getting her knees to become bendable and flexible), she became somewhat restless. So, this is a positive sign she can arouse from this crazy coma...

We are measuring the progress in tiny, but gratifying steps. The objective is to get the ventilator removed. With it, time is our enemy because of the risk of infection (and pneumonia). On the other hand taking it out would allow her to aspirate fluid into her lungs where it would fester and have the same result. So getting her conscious and 'protecting her airway' is the immediate goal. Keeping her slight fever in check with a stream of antibiotics is a priority as well. This is a delicate procedure because she is having a hard time with coughing and the irritation caused by the ventilator crammed down her throat. Then they have to siphon the fluid out of her lungs every so often and that action evokes a most painful grimace and writhing of her head back and forth for a few seconds. Ouch!

Today, the Occupational Therapists repeated their procedure and stimulated mom some more. She opened her eyes for sustained periods of time and peered forward, but not responsive to light or movement at this point. She seems to respond a bit to commands after repeating and assisting her to respond to the command. We are working on saying no or yes by moving your head accordingly.

So that is the current state of things. Every day raises the bar just a bit.

Many visitors have buoyed us up and sustained us this Fast Sunday. We are grateful for your heartfelt prayers and petitions on her/our behalf. We are also very mindful of the Lord's hand in this process.

Chapter One

2009-08-01T10:29:00.000-07:00

On Monday, July 27, 2009, our beautiful, sweet wife and mother, Pauline, became the proud owner of two brand new knees. She had been suffering with severe knee pain for decades, and bone-on-bone pain for the past few years, but was always worried about having the surgery because of possible complications. A few weeks ago she announced that she had scheduled the surgery and was looking forward to enjoying life without worrying about her knees any longer.

The knee replacement part of the surgery went extremely well, accomplished with just a spinal block along with conscious sedation, similar to what you would experience in a colonoscopy. Mom had been told to expect to be up and walking the day of the surgery. However, the recovery nurse noticed right away that Mom had weakness in both arms. After a couple hours of monitoring her, they asked if we would come to the recovery room and observe her. She was able to speak to us but was unexpectedly groggy. When she still hadn't improved five hours after the surgery, they ordered a battery of tests and finally sent her up to ICU. By evening she had lost her eyesight, but could still recognize our voices and provide short, belabored responses to our questions. We gathered the family together and gave her a blessing which spoke comfort and peace to everyone.

By Tuesday morning she was no longer conscious. As the day wore on it became evident that she needed more specialized care. Our family prevailed upon the hospital to immediately move her to the brand new Intermountain Medical Center in Murray where they have a Neurocritical Intensive Care Unit. Although she probably doesn't remember any of the excitement, it was quite the scene early Wednesday morning when the Life Flight team arrived to transport her to IMC by ambulance. It has been so comforting to have her in this new facility where they know what to do and are giving her superb care.

The neuro specialists here are baffled by how this happened, and told us that the chances of this occurring are literally one in a million. The doctors have been able to determine that the stroke was caused by low blood pressure during the surgery, despite the fact that her blood pressure remained within acceptable levels all throughout the procedure and everything appears to have been quite routine. For some unexplainable reason, the blood pressure levels that work for most everyone else must not have been adequate for her, and blood was not able to flow to all parts of her brain. The MRI's show numerous, widespread mini strokes in the watershed areas of her brain and expected swelling around those areas of damage which developed over the course of the next two days. Although the damaged areas are permanent, as the swelling subsides she will likely regain much of the functions impaired because of swelling. Because of the dispersal of the mini strokes, there is a good prospect for neighboring areas of her brain to take over and help restore much of the lost functionality.

One of the spots of damage is in the area of the brain that controls consciousness, but there is also swelling in that area. They expect that once the swelling subsides she will be able to regain consciousness. We are hoping for the same thing with her vision, since early on she did have her sight, but lost it several hours later, hopefully as a result of swelling and not permanent damage. It appears that the worst is past and she is on the mend. Changes will be slow, but steady, incremental improvements are expected.

On Sunday night when everyone gathered to give my Mom a blessing before the surgery, she was told in the blessing that she would be able to see the hand of the Lord through this experience. Although we never imagined that things could have turned out this way, we have indeed seen the hand of the Lord these past few days, and know that He is aware of us and in charge of what is happening. So many people have appeared at just the right moments to guide our path, and we are grateful for the help we are receiving.

We are holding a fast for her tomorrow, on Sunday, August 2nd, and invite you to join with us in fasting on her behalf. Although we don't know how much she is aware of her surroundings, we think she can hear us and is becoming more responsive. We know she would love to hear from each of you and feel of your love and friendship. Please feel free to post a response below by clicking on the "COMMENTS" link at the end of this entry. We will read the comments to her.

Thanks again for your love and support. We'll keep you posted.

Grammie & Grandpa Whitehead

2009-08-01T10:23:00.000-07:00

Now these are awesome Grandparents :)