Goodbye September!

Again today, Mom walked around the entire floor with someone on each side of her for support. It is so amazing that she can do this, and she seems on the upswing . . . that is, until mealtime arrives. For the past couple weeks Mom has complained that her stomach hurts and refuses to eat much at all. In fact, she becomes downright cantankerous when pushed. She doesn't quite get the fact that she is barely skin and bones, having lost 15 pounds since pre-surgery. She told me that she weighed 118 pounds when she got married, and she's just about there now. But there's really no use trying to reason with her about it, as she insists she DOES NOT want to eat. That's why the PEG line is looking more and more necessary.

Other than that, Mom continues to progress. Tonight she sat straight up in bed, scooted herself to the edge and tried to push herself up and off the bed. It's times like this that we can truly see her being at home in the near future. (Now if only she would EAT!!!)

On the compassionate side, tonight Ariane told us that Sharon (Scott's mom) has scheduled knee replacement surgery for her other knee. Mom became deeply concerned and said she was going to put Sharon's name in the temple tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. when the temple opens. When we had family prayer tonight, Mom prayed for Sharon as well. Later, she asked what day she needs to be back in Indiana to help out when the Kastelers go on their trip. She said she is planning on being there and asked how their dog, Maggie, is doing! That's Mom, always willing to help someone. (Now if we could just get her to help herself by EATING!)

With the weather turning cooler, all of Mom's cute capri outfits leave her a bit chilly. Tonight Ariane and I found a couple long-sleeved pajama outfits at Costco that seem just perfect. I think she will be much more comfortable and I'm excited to see her in them.

It's hard to believe that it's October. Mom has been in the hospital for the entire months of August and September. Here's hoping she goes home before Halloween. Although she's never been too fond of that holiday, it will probably be really exciting if she's in her own house! Now that's a happy thought!

If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes!

Mom's cough is better today. Whether it was the breathing treatment, the cough syrup, or simply getting better, we'll take it!

Mom had a great morning in physical therapy. We have found that if we keep her talking and engaged, she does quite well. Today she walked around the entire floor, with minimal assistance. Afterwards she was pretty sleepy and napped for a couple hours.

Food is still not too enticing to Mom, so it is a struggle to keep her caloric intake where it needs to be. Fluid intake is the same story. They are considering inserting a PEG line, which is basically a feeding tube that goes directly into her abdomen. She has had a PICC line since the day of the surgery, and they want to get it out because of the risk of infection, but we still need a backup plan if necessary for fluids, food and medications. The complication is that she is on blood thinners for her heart procedure, which makes the PEG procedure risky. Goodness gracious; I never realized how delicate of a balance life really is!

As you might have noticed, things change on a dime around here! It's like the old saying, "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change." But we're definitely on an upward trend and we are thrilled!

Nine weeks today!

Mom started a cough on Saturday, which has become progressively worse. Although her lungs sound clear, tonight they did an x-ray to make sure she wasn't developing pneumonia. The x-ray did not show any fluid in her lungs, although it does show that the bottom portion of her lungs is not expanding fully. This situation is not uncommon in patients who spend a long time in the hospital since they spend a lot of time in bed and are not breathing as deeply as they would otherwise. Mom received some cough syrup, and the respiratory therapist gave her a breathing treatment, so hopefully she can get some sleep tonight.

Physical therapy went pretty well today, despite the cough. She walked quite far and pushed herself even when she got tired. Although she was not in as good of spirits as she was over the weekend, she seemed to maintain her physical progress. We'll take it.

When we think back to where we were nine weeks ago today, everything gets put into perspective. Hang it there, Mom. You're doing great!!!

Baby you can drive my car; yes you're gonna be a star!

OK, OK, Mom didn't actually DRIVE a car, but she did go for a drive IN a car, and for sure she was a star today! About 5:30 p.m., we loaded Mom in Randy's car, and went for a ride up Big Cottonwood canyon to see the beautiful Fall leaves. Mom seemed a bit tired, but was part of the conversation, recognized places as we drove along, and enjoyed the scenery. We were gone about 2 hours, and on the way back to the hospital even stopped at Jim Jr.'s house to say hello to Ruth. When we arrived back on the 12th floor, we thought Mom would collapse into bed, but instead she walked a bit to get her bearings, and then ate some dinner. Then she sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. When we asked where she was going, she announced that she was going HOME! When we explained that she needed to be able to do several things independently before she could go home, she listened intently and then announced that she would have them all mastered in 4 days! Trust us, there's no stopping a Whitehead Woman when she makes up her mind, so this was a thrilling announcement!!!

For a couple weeks now, Jim Jr. has had a goal written prominently on the whiteboard in Mom's room. It says, "Pauline's goal is to walk out of the hospital and GO HOME!" Tonight Randy added a new list titled, "Pauline's own goals." He wrote down what she dictated, and then she jokingly added, "Walk on water!" We all got a good laugh out of that one.

After that, Mom asked who was keeping track of all the things she accomplished today. We told her that I am writing everything down on the blog, and asked her to list the things she wanted us to note. Here are some of her amazing accomplishments:

Fed herself some grapes and chips;

Walked from her bed to the restroom and out to the nurses' station;

Rearranged the covers on her bed;

Sat up and scooted herself to the edge of the bed;

Went from sitting on the edge of the bed to laying down on the bed;

Showed off her "Rockette" moves, lifting her legs straight off the bed;

Went for a ride in the car!

Not bad, dear Mother, not bad at all!!!

Before we left, Mom reminded us that we needed to have family prayer, and offered to say it herself. It has been an absolutely amazing day! Thank you, Heavenly Father!

The good times just keep on coming!

Today has been the best so far! Mom was able to help get herself out of bed and actually walk when she needed to get up (with someone on each side for support.) She was so cooperative and helpful, and extremely aware of what was going on. Mealtime was much easier and for the first time in quite awhile Mom drank enough fluids that she won't need the IV at night.

Physical therapy also went well, with Mom continuing to walk short distances at a time without the walker. We had a great conversation with her this evening where she told us her earliest memories and feelings about physical therapy. "You're sitting there and they're telling you what to do, and that this is for your best interest. I remember just screaming and screaming. It was atrocious!" She then expressed her approval about the latest plan where she can control how far she walks and when she needs to rest. She is so appreciative of her physical therapist's "desire to really make it work for me. He was able to put it in perspective and look at it from my viewpoint." Her insightful comments let us understand her feelings, and it was so wonderful to be able to communicate back and forth.

Mom and Cheryl and I were able to watch the Relief Society Broadcast tonight on my laptop, and enjoyed each other's company as we listened to the wonderful messages. Randy popped popcorn for us to munch on, and Mom was even able to feed herself a couple pieces of her favorite treat! Afterwards, Mom commented, "I was thinking of all the things Relief Society means in our lives - true love for Heavenly Father and all the joy He brings into our lives." Well said, Mother!

The day ended with me giving Mom a shower - our first try without a nurse. All I have to say is that it is much harder than it looks, and I ended up going home with very clean (but wet) shoes. Poor Mom was almost traumatized when the shower head didn't cooperate and sprayed out COLD water, but we smoothed things over afterwards with some warm blankets and a blow dryer for her wet hair.

We're looking forward to taking Mom home for a session or two of conference next week! The good times just keep on coming!

Who says miracles cease to exist?

What an unbelievably great day it has been. We hardly know where to begin with the wonderful news. First off, we learned this morning that Mom will be staying on the 12th floor for another two weeks! Who says miracles cease to exist?

And then, as if that wasn't enough, Mom walked again today, for the first time since last Saturday. But not only did she walk, she walked WITHOUT A WALKER!! Her physical therapist, Alex, got Mom on her feet by making a deal with her. He told her that if she walked all the way down the hall to her room, Dad would have to do the dishes for the next month. It was a lighthearted attempt to have her focus on something else during the exertion, and really helped. Mom made it about two thirds of the way down the hall but then needed to stop. As she rested, Alex decided on a whim to have Mom try the rest of the way without the walker - and IT WORKED! She was able to make it almost to her room with only the support of a therapist on either side. (Get the suds going, Dad!)

Then about an hour and a half later, Alex had a break in his schedule and came to get her early for the second session. We were worried that Mom was too tired to walk again so soon, but he came up with another plan which we feel was truly inspired. He decided to break up the walk into 30 foot increments and let her rest for a couple minutes between sections. It was a perfect plan for Mom because it allowed her to not only feel successful, but to also have some control over the process. She did a beautiful job and did not complain at all!

We are in awe of the Lord's hand in our lives, and hardly know how to express our gratitude for his tender mercies. Thanks for all your love and support. It has been a hard week, but the Lord did not let us down. He truly is in charge of our lives!

Mom and meds just don't agree

Mom's been off Ritalin since yesterday. Late this evening she rallied and we saw an improvement in stark contrast to the steady decline she has exhibited all week. We don't know if there's a correlation, but we'll take it. All we know is that it was heartening to see her eat some of the dinner she had previously refused, as well as quite a few Cheetos, one of her all time favorites! She even said the family prayer tonight as we were leaving. What dear, sacred words they were.

We'll keep you posted.

The darkest hour is just before dawn

IHC has declined to offer further assistance to keep Mom on the 12th floor. We are heartsick at this turn of events and can only trust that a loving Heavenly Father will buoy us up and strengthen us all through this difficult situation. We humbly ask for your prayers now more than ever.

Crossroads

Despite the challenges Mom's knee pain has presented in therapy these past few days, we are trying to build on other possibilities. Today Randy and Jim Jr. trained on how to transport Mom into a vehicle so we can take her on some short outings for a change of scenery. Randy wants to take Mom for a drive up the canyon tomorrow to look at the beautiful Fall leaves. I would love to be able to watch the Relief Society broadcast with her on Saturday, and I know she is looking forward to General Conference the week after that. Hopefully we will be able to expand her horizons a bit. It would do us all some good.

The insurance company informed us today that they will pay through Friday, which brings us to a most difficult crossroad. One of the painful truths we are facing is that there is no other facility besides where we are right now that can provide what Mom needs in order to achieve her full potential. This is not about dollars and cents; rather this is about a beautiful, extraordinary woman whose life was forever altered 57 days ago. While everyone involved wishes we could turn back the hands of time and change what happened, we are where we are, and can only choose to go forward from here with faith and determination. We have seen enough glimmers of her remarkable personality shine through that we are able to hold on through the hard times and keep forging ahead. While we have no illusions that this will be an easy process, we have been told by many experts that Mom has much progression still to come. Our job is to be her advocate and help open those doors which will provide the necessary rehabilitation she needs and deserves. We are praying for divine intervention to guide us as we strive to help Mom become Mom again. We invite you to continue praying mightily for this dear, sweet daughter of our Heavenly Father who has blessed the lives of so many throughout the years. Our humble prayer is that He will continue to be aware of her needs and pour out His choicest blessings of peace and healing upon her.

Trust His tender care!

Just for the record, brain injuries are no fun! Today was one of those days that left us scratching our heads and wondering, "Who are you, and what did you do with our Mother?" Mom did not want to do much of anything today, despite a great day yesterday and everyone's best efforts today. We did manage to get some therapy in today, despite the fact that Mom didn't want to walk too far with the walker. Jim Jr. and Randy helped her stand up and sit down on the side of the bed about 10 times. Then later on the therapists hooked Mom to the harness and she ended up walking a bit with the extra support it provided. But overall the day was mighty puzzling and downright frustrating. However, sometimes there's more than meets the eye . . .

Lately Mom has been complaining that the back of her right knee hurts and she doesn't want to straighten it out to walk. Unfortunately, it's next to impossible to walk with bent knees! Tonight, just when everyone was about at their wit's end with Mom's "lack of cooperation," Dr. Samuelson (the knee surgeon) arrived to see Mom. Lo and behold, after examining her, he expressed concern about the fact that . . . drum roll . . . the back of her right knee is forming scar tissue and is unable to straighten out all the way! (Seems as if Mom knew what she was talking about all along!) Anyhow, Dr. Samuelson ordered a splint for Mom to wear at night while sleeping which will keep her knee straight. The hope is that after a few nights the scar tissue will relax and she will be able to straighten the knee out all the way.

Today's situation couldn't have been more frustrating for the family and staff because it is evaluation time once again for the insurance company and we are in desperate need of a good report. What with scar tissue, an underactive thyroid and starting two new medications, the real situation is a tad bit hard to discern for those of us in the thick of things. That's why it was so refreshing to hear Dr. Samuelson's perspective about Mom's current condition as it has been a week and a half since he last saw her. His comment was that Mom is an entirely different person than he saw on the last visit because of all the improvement she's made! Now just how do we go about packaging that up for the insurance folks in Oregon?

We can only leave it in the hands of the One who can work mighty miracles. We will just lay this at His feet and trust His tender care.

Mom the Rockette!

(Although the blog entry says Monday, I haven't gone to bed yet, so this still qualifies as Sunday, September 20th!)

Today was a very exciting day for Mom. She was able attend the short Church services held downstairs. After partaking of the Sacrament, Mom was pretty tired so she fell asleep during the high councilor's talk but woke up in time to sing the closing song! All in all the meeting was a success!

Beginning with dinner last night, Mom has been able have an unrestricted diet again. Although she didn't particularly care for the menu items she received today, she was able to choose her selections for tomorrow, and is looking forward to having a caesar salad! Fresh fruits and vegetables are not part of the soft diet she has been on, so this will be new and exciting!

Later on this afternoon Mom was very alert and visited with lots of family and friends. She is gaining new skills each day that show just how far on the road to recovery she really has travelled. Today she wanted to sit up and try to get off her bed. She went from laying down to pulling herself upright, turning her body sideways, scooting towards the edge of the bed and dangling her feet over the side. She even stood up briefly, with help!

Another trick we particularly enjoyed was when Mom raised her legs 90 degrees off the bed so they were sticking straight up in the air. She even raised both legs up at the same time, which is no small feat for anyone! We teased Mom that she was going to join the Rockettes with her fancy moves!!!

Tom and Junko Shimizu came to visit and Mom discussed in detail many activities and people from the Brentwood Ward in Los Angeles where they all lived in the 1960's. Mom showed remarkable clarity in remembering events and carried on a great conversation!

So, we are delighted with these small milestones that Mom is achieving on a daily basis. Together they add up to huge progress, and we are thrilled to recognize more and more of Mom's sweet personality every day! Please continue to keep her in your prayers, especially tomorrow as she is evaluated for the insurance company. Although we are making wonderful progress, we still need more time here on the 12th floor!

Up and down

This morning Mom was awesome! First off, she walked all the way around the 12th floor using her walker. After she got back to her room, Ariane used the laptop to hook Mom up on video chat with the Kastelers in Indiana. Mom spent a wonderful 45 minutes talking back and forth with each one of them and could even read online messages they typed to her during the chat! It was so fun to watch her expressions and reactions, and she even crossed her legs as she talked! She was Grammie again, and it was phenomenal!

Unfortunately things took a downward turn from there. The chat took place during the scheduled time for speech therapy, but for some reason the therapist was delayed. We were anxious for the therapist to observe Mom talking and interacting so normally, and were disappointed that she didn't get to see any of it! It would have looked great on the reports!

In addition, the first walk left Mom pretty tired, so when the physical therapist came to help her walk again shortly thereafter, Mom could only make it half way around the floor, and she complained loudly all the way! The therapist was pretty hard on her and told Mom that if she would put the same amount of effort into walking that she did into resisting that she could be walking on her own. It was pretty frustrating to watch, because at that point Mom completely shut down. It was a lousy way to end an exciting morning.

It was the first time I had seen her walk in person, since I am always at school during Mom's therapy. I can see the therapist's frustrations, but on the other hand I could also understand Mom's exhaustion. She definitely does not have her old grit and determination back yet, but from what we understand about strokes, the exhaustion is very real. It is a fine line to know how much to push. She at least deserves some major credit for all she did before the second walk, but unfortunately, her efforts for the day will largely be labeled uncooperative.

This is very disappointing because our precious week actually started last Tuesday, so we are almost right back where we started with the insurance authorization a couple days ago. This continuous pressure to perform is becoming extremely tiresome, as it takes the focus off all the good that is happening. We need to remind ourselves that despite all the ups and downs, Mom's overall progress is really quite amazing. After all, it has only been ONE WEEK since she started walking!

As mentioned in yesterday's post, the doctor did start Mom on two medications. The first is synthroid which is prescribed for an underactive thyroid. Mom's TSH levels had skyrocketed to 31 and normal is somewhere between 4-6. This means that her pituitary gland is repeatedly sending messages to the thyroid to produce more thyroid hormone, but for some reason her thyroid is not functioning properly. An underactive thyroid can cause extreme fatigue, so this could potentially be good news as it is really quite an easy fix, but it will take a couple weeks to stabilize. The second medication they started is ritalin, which is prescribed to increase processing speeds in the brain. We are hopeful that these two medications will help Mom become more alert and cooperative.

On the brighter side, the speech therapist cleared Mom to have a regular diet. This is wonderful news because she was getting SICK AND TIRED of the same old foods every couple days. (She may never want to eat mac and cheese, green jello or lasagna again in her entire life!) To celebrate, we got a big order of french fries from downstairs and Mom ate every single one! Beginning Monday Mom will get to choose what she wants to eat from a menu, so hopefully mealtime will not be such a struggle.

Despite the frustrations of the day, we are choosing to focus on the wonderful things that happened and celebrate the excitement of Mom's progress. Hang in there, sweet Mom. Tomorrow's another day!

Fun pics

Here are some fun pics from last Saturday night. We had a great time hanging out in Mom's room as a family.

Mom's goal: To walk out of the hospital and GO HOME!

Mom continued to progress today. This morning as she walked with the therapists, Mom pretty much supported herself for the first 100 feet or so. The nursing staff is always so kind to cheer her on as she passes! Jim Jr. posted our goal on the whiteboard in Mom's room for all to see. It says, "Mom's goal: To walk out of the hospital and GO HOME!" Although we have a ways to go, we are keeping the goal in sight and working towards it every day!

Mom also got her hair cut today by one of the secretaries on the floor named Angie. What a kind and thoughtful thing for her to do! It has been two months since Mom's last haircut and her bangs were getting L-O-N-G!!! After the cut, Mom got a shower and shampoo, and I blow dried her hair. Mom looked so clean and pretty, cozily snuggled up under some warm blankets with a new hairdo!

Yesterday the doctor informed us that Mom's thyroid is not functioning properly. She has hypothyroidism, or low thyroid hormone levels, which may explain her extreme fatigue. Today they started her on medication to correct the situation. They also began giving her ritalin to help combat her sleepiness. We feel comfortable with these medications and are excited to see if they help her be more alert.

Another Miracle!

Tonight about 7:20 p.m. Jim Jr.'s phone rang as we sat in Mom's room. It was the insurance company calling (after hours, mind you!) to tell us that the appeals committee had reversed the denial and approved Mom's continued stay at IMC!!!!! The approval is only for 1 week, but it is standard procedure for the insurance company to approve things a week at a time. The way it was explained to us is that Medicare requires documentation a month at a time, whereas insurance companies require it weekly, and tend to micromanage all care received. So, we will take this gift, and express gratitude to a loving Heavenly Father who continues to guide Mom's recovery. We are thrilled with this news!

Jim Jr., Randy and Dad also deserve a medal for the many hours they spent gathering information and packaging it for submission to the appeals committee. The hospital was a tremendous help as well. Even the therapists banded together and wrote letters to facilitate the appeal. We are so very grateful for everyone's efforts!

Today has been a great day for Mom in many aspects. Lorraine came again this morning and watched Mom walk clear around the entire 12th floor in her walker. Mom told Lorraine that she knows what she has to do, but that it is just so incredibly hard to actually do it. Before she began walking, Mom and her physical therapist, Alex, were chatting and laughing together. Then Mom, in a joking, but slightly defiant manner piped up with a funny line, "Now, just who is the therapist here, you or me?" Everyone burst into laughter. In reality, it is an overwhelming task Mom faces on a daily basis to look this incredibly painful therapy in the face and literally keep putting one foot in front of the other. And, we all pretty much "require" her to do it, even when she doesn't much feel like participating. She is to be commended for her efforts. In fact, this afternoon Mom walked around the entire floor a second time. Way to go, Mom!!

Thank you everyone for being a part of this miraculous journey. We couldn't do it alone!

Calm in the eye of the storm

Well, to everyone's complete disbelief, the insurance company did not grant permission for Mom to remain on the 12th floor. Their reasoning is that she is on again/off again with her cooperation, despite the fact that she is walking each day and improving in so many ways. They recommend that she be moved to a skilled nursing facility (i.e. nursing home) instead of the intensive neuro rehab floor she is on. It's all a matter of dollars and cents (or is it sense?)

We have filed an appeal with the insurance company and spent the evening pow-wowing (is that even a word?) together as to the best course of action to take. Tomorrow we need to fax/email supporting documents and information to the insurance company to help our case. It has been amazing, no make that downright thrilling, to watch the course we should take unfold before us these past several hours. It all started when Dad, as only Dad can do, put his arm around one of the sweet nurses tonight and asked a question which ended up revealing some highly exciting news. Unbeknownst to us, on their latest goal sheet, the rehab staff estimated that if Mom continues her current progress that she could actually GO HOME in the next 2-3 weeks!!! Of course she would need some extensive help, but this piece of news was beyond our wildest expectations. (I seem to be using that phrase quite often these past few days!) As we looked over the goals each member of the therapy team set for Mom since she arrived, it became even more evident that she has progressed leaps and bounds. Then, as we sat talking at the end of the hall, one of our favorite CNAs joined the conversation. She explained that while the entire staff was skeptical about Mom's situation at first, they have all thrilled at her progress and are rooting wholeheartedly for her to stay. Bit by bit, as the night wore on we gained new pieces to the puzzle and were granted new insights about what we should do.

Despite this latest detour, we each feel peace and calm. It is our firm conviction and testimony that Heavenly Father is in charge and has guided our footsteps to this point. He will not let us down!!! Please join with us in faith and prayer for yet another miracle in Mom's behalf. Although we do not know how He will accomplish it, we know He will do just that! What a remarkable journey this has been to be a part of His great plan. Thank you for walking the path with us. Your faith and prayers sustain us!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, our sweet Mother had a pretty remarkable evening chatting with us. She carried on a delightful extended conversation and enjoyed everyone's company. We showed her the blog and told her that people all around the world are following her progress! She was astounded to think that everyone would be interested! Then we showed Mom the video of her walking and her first comment was, "I look like a witch!" Not even a remote resemblance dear Mom!

Last night Ariane read the history of Lynn that Scott just finished writing for Mom's birthday. Today Mom talked extensively with the speech therapist about Lynn's story and wanted to hear it read out loud again tonight. Thanks, Scott, for all your tears and effort putting that together. It was amazingly effective long distance therapy (for all of us!)

It looks like good news!

It appears likely that Mom will be able to stay for 2 or 3 more weeks! The hospital's consensus is that she do just that, but now it is up to the insurance to decide. We are hopeful that they will concur with the hospital's recommendation, especially since she started walking last week. We'll take it!!!!!! (And yes, insurance really does run the world - mine at least!)

This morning Mom walked even further than ever with the walker and did not require the harness. Beginning at the therapy room on the opposite end of the floor, she walked all the way down the hall to her room, and then all the way back again. She had to stop once to rest, but she did it!!! It just wipes her out to walk, but it is so amazing that she can! When we stop to think where she was when she first arrived on the 12th floor two weeks ago, it is truly remarkable. Reading the back entries on the blog help keep it all in perspective.

This afternoon Mom did not want to do much more therapy, but I'm pretty sure that if I had run a marathon in the morning, I wouldn't be up to another one in the afternoon. From her reaction, that's probably a pretty fair comparison. She's pretty vocal about things when she doesn't want to participate, but it's her only way to protest. (That and clenching her mouth shut when she doesn't want to eat anymore!) It must be pretty maddening from her end, but we only want what's best.

In occupational therapy they show Mom lots of pictures of everyday objects and ask questions about the items. The idea is to keep repeating things until they are automatic, but sometimes Mom gets exasperated and tells them she has already answered their questions. I guess it's a good sign if she can remember that she has seen them previously, but when she won't answer the second time around it doesn't look good on the evaluation. Ah, protocol!

This morning Dad and Jim Jr. went down to the ICU and were able to talk with Mom's original neuro specialist. He was able to reassure them that Mom's on again/off again behavior is normal for her type of brain injury, and that she is making good progress. Up on the 12th floor they are used to dealing with typical stroke patients, but Mom's stroke was quite unusual and her reactions are not what they are used to seeing. It was comforting to hear that her reactions are to be expected.

We really do love you, dear Mother! Have a good snooze (and stay in the bed!)

Ho Hum Monday

Today was so so.  The therapists tried to get Mom to walk with the walker five different times this morning, but each time she was too tired and just sat down.   Later in the afternoon, they tried the harness in addition to the walker, and she was able to walk down the hall three times. I guess she just needed some additional help holding herself up today.   Some days are like that!

She did a bit better today with food and drink, so that was a plus.  She also got another shower and shampoo, and enjoyed getting her hair blow dried as she snuggled under some warm blankets.  After that we left for about half an hour to go downstairs for a bite to eat.  When we got back, Mom was in a much better mood, and we enjoyed a good visit for a bit, complete with conversation and laughter. After family prayer we left so she could rest.  We're praying for a good night's sleep and a better tomorrow.

Sleep tight, sweet Mom!  We love you so!

Grammie Walks (Fixed)

Gymnastic maneuvers

This morning we arrived to find that Mom had fallen out of bed last night. The nurse came in around 11 p.m. to find Mom on the floor. They did a CT scan which thankfully was normal, so we feel pretty fortunate. They have switched beds to one that has a bed alarm when she moves too much, so hopefully she won't repeat her gymnastic maneuvers tonight!

We were so excited that Mom and Dad's stake arranged to have stake conference streaming live on the internet so Mom could watch it from the hospital. How thoughtful of them!!! However, the hospital guest internet could not handle such a large load, so Dad, Randy and Cheryl decided to take Mom to Sacrament Meeting downstairs. Unfortunately it was cancelled, but they were still able to take the sacrament.

Afterwards, Mom had physical therapy which was the bright spot in her day. She was able to walk about 225 feet in her walker!!! She was exhausted but it was a wonderful accomplishment!

For the rest of the day Mom wasn't too alert despite having quite a few visitors. She also wasn't much interested in her meals. Up until yesterday, she had been finishing all her food, but struggling to get enough fluids. Yesterday the trend reversed itself and Mom drank fluids but wouldn't eat much. Today she didn't want either.

We left quite early so she could hopefully get a good night's rest. Here's hoping tomorrow she will wake refreshed and ready for a new day!

p.s. We're having technical difficulties with the video from earlier today, so check back in a bit. It's worth the wait!!!

Lead me, guide me, WALK beside me!

Unbelievable news! Mom WALKED today, three times!!! We are in awe of this major miracle, which was beyond any of our wildest dreams. As you recall, yesterday Mom "walked" down the hall in a harness suspended from the ceiling. Last night I thought to myself, "Maybe one day Mom will be able to walk with a walker." Then this morning about 10 a.m. I got a call from Jim Jr., saying that Mom had done just that! One of the therapists decided to give Mom a try on the walker and, miracle of miracles, she did it! She was able to support herself and walk all the way down the hall. No one ever thought she would be to walk on her own for a long, long time. After all, it was only 3 days ago that mom even moved her knees for the therapist for the first time. We humbly acknowledge Heavenly Father's divine influence, and His direct hand in granting this miracle.

Up and at 'em!

Today Mom did something quite exciting in physical therapy.  The therapists hooked her up to a harness which is connected to a track on the ceiling, and helped her walk some 70 feet down the hallway!  While she wasn't weight bearing (because the harness was holding her up) and the therapists were guiding her legs to take one step in front of the other, it was breathtaking to see her upright and moving!

Shortly after her "walk" Mom had a visit from her ward Relief Society presidency.  What beautiful women, who provided some sweet relief and buoyed us all up with their kind words and cheer.  They also brought more heartfelt notes from the sisters in the ward, and it was so thoughtful of everyone to share their tender feelings about our beautiful mother.  What a blessing their ward has been to Mom and Dad!  They are helping out in so many ways, from mowing the lawn to taking out the garbage cans, weeding the flower beds and even planting more cheerful flowers in the planters on the porch!  We can never adequately express our gratitude for their thoughtful expressions of love and support.  It has meant so much to all of us!

Tonight Jim Jr. hooked his camera up to the TV in Mom's room and played video footage of the day's events.  Mom intently watched highlights of her day.  It must have been pretty enlightening for Mom to see her therapy from a different, more comfortable perspective. Hopefully she could understand what we see from our perspective and feel proud of her efforts.

As we wrap up our two weeks on this floor, although there have been many ups and downs, the progress Mom has made these past twelve days in breathtaking.  We are praying for another miracle!  Thanks for joining your faith with ours. 

The Rollercoaster

Goodness.  I am getting much too old for rollercoaster rides.  When I was a little girl Mom used to take us to an amusement park called POP (Pacific Ocean Park) where they had a rollercoaster.  Now here we are all these years later riding another one!  Hang on tight!

Last night at our request, they did not give Mom any sleeping medications.  Although she only slept for a few hours, she was quite alert and coherent today, and was not given any wake up medications either.  We are amazed at the difference between today and two days ago -- quite literally night and day.  It is so hard to know what to do about the medication, but it is not fair to Mom to be drugged up and then not qualify to stay because she is not participatory enough.  

Lorraine came to visit Mom this morning and accompanied her to therapy.  She was amazed at the progress Mom has made since she saw her last week on her birthday.  We agree that it has been quite amazing.  Today Mom used her fingers and hands quite a bit.  We saw her use her fingers to rearrange her blanket, as well as rub her eyes and scratch her head!  She also did some amazing maneuvers with her legs, raising them straight up off the bed 90 degrees without any apparent discomfort.  She is becoming more and more mobile by the day.

Unfortunately, this is not enough to satisfy those who make the decision as to whether or not Mom can stay.  Although they have indicated there will be another evaluation on Monday, they have also asked what our plans are for moving her.  They feel her progress is passive, as she continues to complain mightily about much of her physical therapy.

In fact, this evening Mom was downright angry.  From her standpoint, she sometimes feels like a helpless prisoner during therapy as she has no control over the pain that is inflicted during the various procedures.   Worse yet, she feels somewhat betrayed that we all watch it happen and don't give her any relief.  Since she doesn't have a very good short term memory, it is hard for her to have any perspective about her progress.  To me, this is clearly a result of the stroke damage, since Mom has always been driven and motivated to do whatever it took to recover after previous surgeries.   Since these reactions are a direct result of brain injury, we need to have as much patience with her emotional frustrations as we do with her physical limitations.  

Nevertheless, it was tricky at times this evening.  During her frustrating moments, Mom said she needed to go somewhere and talk to Heavenly Father.  She must have done just that at some point tonight, because later on she was full of faith and her feelings were very tender.  We had to leave for a couple hours and when we returned she spoke with us for about 45 minutes, bearing her testimony repeatedly and expressing her conviction that Heavenly Father is in charge and will help things turn out the way they are supposed to.  She said she knows it is going to be a hard road, but that she feels blessed to have the love of everyone and is grateful for the joy they bring into her life.

Amen, dear Mother, amen!

What a Turn Around!

Last night at our request, Mom only received half the amount of sleeping med, and today she was so much more awake and alert! (They also increased her dose of the wake up med, so we're not sure which was responsible - maybe both? But hey, we'll take it!) We were excited that in physical therapy she was able to kick her lower legs on command (despite being downright mad about some of the other therapy!) This evening when the nurse was transferring Mom from her bed to the wheel chair, Mom totally cooperated and was able to briefly bear her own weight in a standing position with only the nurse to support her. So, we continue to see small improvements, and are grateful for every single one.

Despite the progress we see, the doctors and therapists are not quite as optimistic. They classify her as only passively participating in therapy as opposed to taking an active role. With time running out on our two week trial, we are anxious for things to turn around. Today in a family meeting we were told that if she keeps up like she did today they might allow her to stay past Monday. We really, really, really need everyone's faith and prayers over these next few days. We know that Heavenly Father has guided our steps in allowing Mom to be here, so we have faith that things can and will turn out favorably, and are pleading with Him to speak hope and peace to her mind.

Tonight we had some very coherent conversations with Mom. She was able to express some strong opinions, and although she was upset about a few things, it was wonderful to see her alert enough to express her feelings in the first place!!! We also watched President Obama's live speech on healthcare reform, much to Mom's chagrin. He is NOT on her list of favorite people, so she was a bit agitated to hear his voice. As she peered at the television screen during the speech, she said, "Who's that in the back - Joe Biden?" Pretty good long term memory there, Mom. She was also pretty keyed into the words she heard. Once when Obama said the word acrimony, someone asked what it meant and Mom piped up with the definition. Not too bad!

She also had a few lighter comments that were funny. When the nurse came to take Mom's dinner tray, she was pleased to see that Mom had eaten most everything on her plate. Jim Jr. made the comment that it's just the fluids we're concerned about. Mom piped up with, "Chicken fluids? What's that?" We all had a good laugh about that one, including Mom. Then when she was getting ready for bed, Ariane commented that Mom didn't have any holes in her socks (a longstanding family joke). In all seriousness, Mom replied, "I'm SO thankful for that!"

When it was time to leave, Dad asked Mom if she wanted to say the family prayer. She agreed and gave a beautiful prayer. Afterwards she told us that she was grateful for "all you guys do to make my life so happy," and then commented that "Heavenly Father knows that I'm not perfect, but He knows that I try hard." Of that we are sure, dear Mother!

"Wise and noble thoughts and a constant heart"

Today Mom was very sleepy.  We're wondering if she needs an adjustment with sleeping meds, but we don't want to play doctor.  She has also been somewhat sad, which is not her personality at all.  That could also be a side effect of the sleeping meds.  Goodness, this gets a bit confusing!  (I should have paid better attention during medical school.  Oh, wait, I never went . . .)

After dinner we took Mom for a wheelchair ride downstairs to see the fountain and flowers, and hopefully choose something in the cafeteria.  She opened her eyes outside at the fountain and looked at all the beautiful flowers.  Then she promptly fell back asleep and was zonked all during the cafeteria part.  

When we got back to the room it was time for a shower.  We had a good time with the nurse and CNA as they got Mom showered and shampooed.  We were all laughing together at some silly comments and jokes, and it really lightened things up!  We are so grateful for the kindness and professionalism of so many people who care for Mom.  Even on a hard day, as we are wheeling Mom down the hall, she will greet previous nurses and aides with such graciousness and appreciation for all their care.

Since coming to the 12th floor we have had visits from a few people from the 7th floor, and they are excited about Mom's progress.   We need to remind ourselves that one step forward and two steps backward is normal.  Ah, patience . . .

Tonight Mom got her finger caught on the feeding tube and pulled it out a couple inches.  Bad timing, since they just reinserted it this morning.  As the nurse was trying to get it back in, he asked Mom to swallow for him to help it go back down.  When that didn't work, he asked her to give a little yell.  In her very literal sort of way, Mom replied, "Yell."  We all cracked up, since she did exactly what he asked!

By far the sweetest part of the day was as she was going to sleep.  Mom was sad, and I asked her if she would like Jim Jr. to give her a blessing.  She said she would really like that.  Jim gave her a tender blessing of calm and peace.  Afterward as I was stroking her head she was praying out loud and I heard her ask Heavenly Father to bless her with "wise and noble thoughts and a constant heart."  We plead with Him, the Prince of Peace, to grant her exactly that.

Labor Day labors

Today was a sort of grind it out day. Mom wasn't too alert, and seemed somewhat agitated. She even pulled her feeding tube out far enough that they had to remove it all the way. Since she doesn't drink enough (and it's mighty hard to spoon feed more than a liter of liquids a day) they will probably reinsert it tomorrow. We've decided that the feeding tube is not all bad because it enables the nurses to get the yucky tasting medicine down her quite easily.

There were some bright spots today. Grace Shimizu came to visit and brought some pink grapefruit, which Mom really enjoyed. She even brought some fruit for Dad! When we went for a walk around the halls, Mom greeted several nurses and aides who had helped her last week, and was very considerate. She also cooperated with the speech therapist and answered almost all his questions, and ate all her meals.

So, despite the difficulties, Mom is definitely improving. We'll take everything we can get, and continue to cheer her on! Go, Mom!

Fast Sunday Number 2

Mom had a shower and shampoo this morning. Cheryl came to take her to church services (downstairs in the hospital) this morning, but the shower took a bit too long. It wears Mom out to be up for the shower, but it feels so nice!

She had a short session of speech therapy, and was pretty exhausted this afternoon. We took her outside for a walk around the grounds, and Mom enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the breeze. She ate her meals and we even got some ice cream in her to increase her calorie total.

Dani gave Mom a book called My Stroke of Insight for her birthday gift. It is written by a woman who was a brain scientist who also had a stroke, and it outlines her path to recovery. Jim Jr. has been reading the book and has come up with a list of specific things we can do to help Mom on her path to recovery. One of the things we have decided is that we need to leave earlier each night, so Mom can get adequate rest.

Tomorrow will be six weeks since Mom's surgery. We are thankful for all your prayers and fasting today, and your love and support during the past month and a half. Mom has come so far, and we can see small steps of improvement each day.

We'll be fasting for you tomorrow, Mom!

This morning at therapy Mom stood up a full 90 degrees while strapped to the table. The therapist worked her upper thigh and knee muscles as she stood for more than 10 minutes. Her sense of equilibrium is slowly coming back. Due to the stroke, getting her mind to connect with her knees will be a challenge, not to mention the recovery that goes along with a typical knee replacement. But this is the place to make it happen.

This evening we took Mom downstairs to the cafeteria in hopes that she would see some tasty treat to complete her calorie intake for the day. She ordered potato soup and a roll with butter, which she ate out on the patio. It was a nice change of scenery and a chance to get some fresh air. Mom said some pretty silly things, but was able to recognize that they didn't make too much sense, and laughed at her choice of words.

Tomorrow is fast Sunday. Was it really just a month ago when we held the first fast for Mom? She has come so very far in the intervening weeks, and we thank you for your faith and prayers. We would ask that you include her in your fast tomorrow, specifically praying that she will progress far enough this next week that she qualifies to stay here for several weeks. We acknowledge Heavenly Father's hand in this process, and humbly plead that Mom will continue to regain and relearn the life skills necessary to come home soon!!!

The blessings she brings into our lives are without measure!

Tonight when I came into the room, one of Mom's legs was hanging off the side of the bed and touching the floor. As we chatted, the other leg came off the bed as well, and it looked as if Mom were just getting out of bed and would stand up any minute! That will be a sweet moment when it finally happens!

We two girls had a sweet visit together. At first she seemed a bit discouraged, but as we talked further, her faith was strong and she was Mom again. I reminded her that she had come so very far in the past month, and even in the past week. We talked about Lynn and how bravely she endured her trials, and we both marveled at the memories. I told Mom that I was sure Lynn was close at hand and watching over her when we couldn't be there. Mom responded with, "I don't know how it works, or anything about it, but the blessings she brings into our lives are without measure." Well said, dear Mother, well said! Has it really been nine years since we were all together?

I brought Mom up to speed on all the many things my children and grandchildren are doing, and she gave me Motherly advice as she always has. She admonished me to have faith and bore testimony that Heavenly Father would shower blessings down upon us. It was so tender to hear her speak as only my mother can speak. How I have missed that these past few weeks!

Although we have so far to go, we are on the way! Together we can do this!

p.s. Check out the birthday pictures on yesterday's post, as well as the picture on Wednesday's post of the Young Women singing. (The fact that I am able to do this is proof that you CAN teach an old dog new tricks . . . if you're patient enough!)

Happy Birthday to You!

Mom had a great 76th birthday. It started out with her sister, Lorraine, coming to visit. She brought a fun musical card, and Mom danced in her bed as it played! Then it was off to therapy - no rest for the birthday girl! Therapy went OK, but Mom was too tired to stand or do much during the last session. After a rest, the nurse gave Mom a shower and shampoo, and dressed her in a new outfit. She looked beautiful for her party!

It is a birthday tradition for Mom to have homemade angel food cake drizzled with lemon glaze, and this year was no exception. When we were serving it, Alan playfully announced that in order to qualify for a piece of angel food cake, you had to either be an angel or know one. Mom immediately raised her left arm straight up over her head and piped up, "I claim to be an angel!" How right you are, Mom! Cheryl also made peach sorbet with peaches from her tree, and it was so refreshing! Randy bought a carrot cake from Costco, and invited the entire floor to come to the dining room for a piece. Some of the nurses sang Happy Birthday to Mom, and everyone was so kind. She had lots of visitors, as well as several phone calls. Scott called from Indiana, and Mom carried on a pretty coherent conversation with him. They share the same birthday, so it was pretty exciting. Thank you everyone for making it a special day!

Mom ate pretty well today, but somehow came up short of her 1800 calories, despite having cake and ice cream! She ate all of her meals today, so we just assumed she had gotten enough calories or we would have pushed a bit more. Oh well. I never realized just how many bites it takes to get to 1800 calories! (Unfortunately it's never hard for me!)

We are excited about the progress Mom is making. We've come a long way since last week. Keep on keeping on, birthday girl, and we'll get there yet!

Mine angels round about you, to bear you up . . .

Today was the best we've had in some time. Mom stood up three different times in therapy, and was quite alert for most of the day! Unfortunately they reinserted the feeding tube, despite the fact that we thought she was eating quite well. They explained that Mom needs to have a minimum of 1800 calories each day for optimum recovery and rehab, so her intake is carefully monitored. The plan is to use the feeding tube at night to administer whatever calories were missed during the day. Tonight she was short 245 calories, so Randy and Cheryl went down to the cafeteria and bought all sorts of delectable goodies to entice Mom with. Between choosing the food, feeding it to her, and checking online to calculate the calorie count of each bite, it was a family affair to make up the deficit! I guess that illustrates just how fond we are of the feeding tube. NOT!

Ruth and Alycia came to wish Mom happy birthday a day early. They brought a really fun musical balloon that you can tap and it will play a rocking version of Elvis singing Happy Birthday. Mom could actually bat the balloon to make it play and danced in her bed to the beat! When I arrived, Dad asked if she wanted to dance with the balloon again. Mom replied that she would rather dance with him!

The highlight of the day happened about 7:00 p.m. After a very painful procedure, Mom finally relaxed and began resting comfortably. Shortly thereafter, Mom and Dad's Bishop and home teacher arrived with a cheerful arrangement of flowers to wish Mom a happy birthday. As we were visiting, the door opened and in walked about 15 beautiful Young Women and their leaders. I can't begin to describe the feeling they brought into the room as those sweet Young Women gathered around Mom's bed and began singing to her. They started off with "Happy Birthday," and then sang "A Child's Prayer," one of my favorite Primary songs. Then they presented Mom with a vase of gorgeous burgundy gerbera daisies and a memory binder decorated with her name, full of sweet notes from each Young Woman. Mom thanked them all for coming and bore her testimony to them. It was so tender. Dad, Jim Jr. and I could hardly contain ourselves. I couldn't help but think of D&C 84:88: "I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." Although those beautiful girls probably don't realize it, they were truly angels from our Heavenly Father, sent to brighten our countenances and lift up our feeble knees. They brought tears to my eyes as the Spirit bore witness to my weary heart that Heavenly Father is truly aware of us and is guiding our situation. What a beautiful experience!

I want to go home!

This morning when Jim Jr. stopped by on his way to work, he found Mom sleeping on her stomach.  That was her favorite sleeping position before her surgery, and we were excited that she managed to get herself rolled over.  Just don't roll all the way off the bed, Mom!

The rehab floor is a happening place! They get Mom dressed about 10 a.m. and then have various therapy sessions scheduled between 11 a.m - 2 p.m. She works with both occupational and speech therapy, and has two sessions each day with physical therapy as well. She also met with a recreational therapist today to discuss activities she would like to be able to do again for enjoyment, such as working on genealogy and family photos.

This morning in physical therapy she stood up with the aid of the special table for 15-20 minutes, with her feet flat on the ground and weight bearing. One of her friends from Church stopped to visit, and Mom talked with her during therapy. However, all that standing wore Mom out, and she was pretty sleepy during the afternoon. She did sit in the wheelchair for most of the day though, and then had a shower and shampoo in the late afternoon.

After a nap, Mom ate most of her dinner, for which we were grateful, as she didn't eat breakfast, and had to be coaxed to eat lunch. I'm still learning the tricks of the trade when feeding her. I made the mistake of giving her the pills before she was done eating. They taste pretty nasty, and sometimes Mom clamps her mouth shut and refuses to eat any more after that. The trick is to offer the pills after she has finished everything else. OK, OK, I admit, I'm a slow learner! It's pretty important that she eats, because the doctor has said he'll reinsert the feeding tube if she doesn't eat. We want to avoid that at all cost!

This evening Mom was still sleepy. However, instead of being incoherent, today she sang alot. I'll take the singing anytime over the rambling and babbling. Sometimes she hums quietly, but other times she can really turn up the volume. Most of the time she doesn't sing the words, just the tune, but occasionally she catches us off guard. During one such moment, she startled us by singing, "I - want - to - go - home," to a random tune. We hugged her and told her we couldn't agree more. That's what we're all praying for!

One of the more poignant things she said tonight was, "I'm anxious to get on with my life. I know I can't have it all, but I can have a little." Hang in there, Mom! We're praying for you every single step of the way!!!!