Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Rollercoaster



Goodness.  I am getting much too old for rollercoaster rides.  When I was a little girl Mom used to take us to an amusement park called POP (Pacific Ocean Park) where they had a rollercoaster.  Now here we are all these years later riding another one!  Hang on tight!

Last night at our request, they did not give Mom any sleeping medications.  Although she only slept for a few hours, she was quite alert and coherent today, and was not given any wake up medications either.  We are amazed at the difference between today and two days ago -- quite literally night and day.  It is so hard to know what to do about the medication, but it is not fair to Mom to be drugged up and then not qualify to stay because she is not participatory enough.  

Lorraine came to visit Mom this morning and accompanied her to therapy.  She was amazed at the progress Mom has made since she saw her last week on her birthday.  We agree that it has been quite amazing.  Today Mom used her fingers and hands quite a bit.  We saw her use her fingers to rearrange her blanket, as well as rub her eyes and scratch her head!  She also did some amazing maneuvers with her legs, raising them straight up off the bed 90 degrees without any apparent discomfort.  She is becoming more and more mobile by the day.

Unfortunately, this is not enough to satisfy those who make the decision as to whether or not Mom can stay.  Although they have indicated there will be another evaluation on Monday, they have also asked what our plans are for moving her.  They feel her progress is passive, as she continues to complain mightily about much of her physical therapy.

In fact, this evening Mom was downright angry.  From her standpoint, she sometimes feels like a helpless prisoner during therapy as she has no control over the pain that is inflicted during the various procedures.   Worse yet, she feels somewhat betrayed that we all watch it happen and don't give her any relief.  Since she doesn't have a very good short term memory, it is hard for her to have any perspective about her progress.  To me, this is clearly a result of the stroke damage, since Mom has always been driven and motivated to do whatever it took to recover after previous surgeries.   Since these reactions are a direct result of brain injury, we need to have as much patience with her emotional frustrations as we do with her physical limitations.  

Nevertheless, it was tricky at times this evening.  During her frustrating moments, Mom said she needed to go somewhere and talk to Heavenly Father.  She must have done just that at some point tonight, because later on she was full of faith and her feelings were very tender.  We had to leave for a couple hours and when we returned she spoke with us for about 45 minutes, bearing her testimony repeatedly and expressing her conviction that Heavenly Father is in charge and will help things turn out the way they are supposed to.  She said she knows it is going to be a hard road, but that she feels blessed to have the love of everyone and is grateful for the joy they bring into her life.

Amen, dear Mother, amen!



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