Ouch!

Mom was in a lot of pain today despite the pain meds she is receiving. It was hard to watch her be so upset and not be able to do anything to help. To me, that is the most difficult part of caregiving - that you can't fix things, and sometimes nothing you do helps. I tell myself that I just need to show love and support. Today I told her I loved her, and she said she already knew. I guess that's good.

As I was leaving, I spoke to the nurse and mentioned that we had no idea this procedure would be so painful. She replied, "It's not. Your mother is just choosing to focus on it." I almost decked her, but decided to just turn and walk out so she wouldn't see me burst into tears. Let's poke a quarter inch hole through her abdomen, muscle wall and stomach and then see if she chooses to focus on it or not. (Thanks for letting me work off steam.) (Sorry.)

Anyhow, Mom had conference on TV when I arrived, but she wasn't able to take much of it in. She told me she wished she could concentrate more on the talks, but I'm sure Heavenly Father will give her credit for trying! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. It doesn't look too positive for a field trip home tomorrow, but we'll just take it how it comes.

I still love you, Mom, even though I've already told you!